Topic: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...  (Read 5942 times)

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Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« on: June 27, 2004, 09:00:06 pm »
A little something I came across on the web:



If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Picard:     Sigma Indri, that's the star,
            So, Data, please, how far? How far?
 
Data:       Our ship can get there very fast
            But still the trip will last and last
            We'll have two days til we arrive
            But can the Indrans there survive?
 
Picard:     LaForge, please give us factor nine.
 
LaForge:    But, sir, the engines are offline!
 
Picard:     Offline! But why? I want to go!
            Please make it so, please make it so!
 
Riker:      But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
            We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
            The danger here is far too great!
 
Picard:     But surely we must not be late!
 
Troi:       I'm sensing anger and great ire.
 
Computer:   Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
 
Picard:     The ship's on fire? How could this be?
            Who lit the fire?
 
Riker:      Not me.
 
Worf:       Not me.
 
Picard:     Computer, how long til we die?
 
Computer:   Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
 
Data:       May I suggest a course to take?
            We could, I think, quite safely make
            Extinguishers from tractor beams
            And stop the fire, or so it seems...
 
Geordi:     Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
            Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
 
Picard:     Mr. Data, thank you much.
            You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
 
Troi:       We still must save the Indran planet --
 
Data:       Which (by the way) is made of granite...
 
Picard:     Enough, you android. Please desist.
            We understand -- we get your gist.
            But can we get our ship to go?
            Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
 
Geordi:     There's sabotage among the wires
            And that's what started all the fires.
 
Riker:      We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
            We need to go! We need to go!
 
Troi:       We must seek out the traitor spy
            And lock him up and ask him why?
 
Worf:       Ask him why? How sentimental.
            I say give him problems dental.
 
Troi:       Are any Romulan ships around?
            Have scanners said that they've been found?
            Or is it Borg or some new threat
            We haven't even heard of yet?
            I sense no malice in this crew.
            Now what are we supposed to do?
 
Crusher:    Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
            They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
            I can't just sit and let them die!
            A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
 
Picard:     Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
 
Crusher:    They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
 
 
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
 HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*
 
 
Worf:       The saboteur is in the brig.
            He's very strong and very big.
            I had my phaser set on stun --
            A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
            He would not budge, he would not fall,
            He would not stun, no, not at all!
            He changed into a stranger form
            All soft and purple, round and warm.
 
Picard:     Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
            Did you see this creature morph?
 
Worf:       I did and then I beat him fairly.
            Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
 
Riker:      My commendations, Klingon friend!
            Our troubles now are at an end!
 
Crusher:    Now let's get our ship to fly
            And orbit yonder Indran sky!
 
Picard:     LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
 
Geordi:     Yes, sir, we can.
 
Picard:     Then make it so!


Offline FVA_C_ Blade_ XC

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2004, 09:18:08 pm »
LMAO
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Offline SkyFlyer

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2004, 09:30:23 pm »
MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE VOICES MAKE IT STOP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE HORROR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Life is short... running makes it seem longer.

"A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

SSCF-Rolling

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2004, 10:33:26 pm »
That is quiet a funny poem.
I wish I could flip a coin,
and land it right here upon my loin,
but I don't, so I'll be goin.

Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2004, 10:47:01 pm »
That is quiet a funny poem.
I wish I could flip a coin,
and land it right here upon my loin,
but I don't, so I'll be goin.

I'd gladly stick my 2 cents in
and risk the blow from your rolling pin
your gone now, ah what might have been
So I'll just post some Dr.Suess again........... :P

SSCF-Rolling

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2004, 10:54:27 pm »
That is quiet a funny poem.
I wish I could flip a coin,
and land it right here upon my loin,
but I don't, so I'll be goin.

I'd gladly stick my 2 cents in
and risk the blow from your rolling pin
your gone now, ah what might have been
So I'll just post some Dr.Suess again........... :P


The rolling pin I put down,
the wood of smooth golden brown.
My heart is broken, and in a case,
but you have brought a smile to my face.

Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2004, 10:54:40 pm »
Ok here something origional in the same vein

Dr. Suess visits Alliance teamspeak pre-server.



Hooch:        Serves about to launch I?m so excited,
                  I hope to see all the Feds I invited

SSCF:         We are all here on teamspeak as you can see
                  But who?s our leader, who will it be?
            
Hooch:       Don?t look at me ask Weamz or Thrain
                 I wont do it again cause it?s a pain
   
Thrain        Or Wanderer better him than me
                 I don?t wanna can?t you see

Weamz:    He?s the man I tell you so
               Trust the dwarf cause he does know

C-Los:      Besides hes not on right now you see
              Therefore our leader shall be he.

Capt Jeff:  My friend has a valid point
                Now time for me to roll a joint

Hooch:      Where are our allies, why aren?t they here?

762:          Easy dude just went for beer

Hooch:       Didn?t hear you report for duty

Bearslayer:  He was looking at Tracey?s booty

Tracey:       I?ll slap him silly if he tries

Deadman:   But what a way to get blackeyes

Kim:          You men are just all alike
                My pin is ready now to strike

Grim:          All Hydrans active plan Delta
                 Make all haste to Ted?s Bomb Shelta

Father Ted   There is plenty room inside for more
                   Just check all weapons at the door
                    
Kim              Does that include my Rolling Pin

Father Ted    Yes for it would be a sin

Die Hard:       Enough!  Enough!  Lets get a plan
                    Before this silliness gets out of hand
                    I could be spending time with my bitches
                  
Tracey:         Watch out for labs or you?ll need stitches.  

Max:             I have a plan to do the trick
                   Posted on the forums so read it quick
                    Its simple direct and hard to botch

762:            As long as it goes well with scotch

Scipio:         Did someone here just call my name?
                 I heard scotch so in I came.
                 With single malt we cannot lose
                 Provided cookies come with the booze

Agave:       Cookies that would be a crime
                 Good Tequila needs no salt or lime
                    
Scippy:      My good man, cookies are required
                Or one ends up quite expired
                In war I want no doubt
                That my wingman might pass out

Agave:     Don?t go there my friend just can it
               So I got drunk and hit a planet
               It wont happen again, no fear
               Now I use Maverick as my spear

Maverick:   I wasn?t watching you just got lucky!

Agave:      Tell it to the papers Bucky!

Maverick:   Shaddup you know that?s just so wrong
                  
Capt Jeff:  Kzin are here!  Time to pack my bong!

M?ress:      A bong! A bong! Who?s got da ?Nip

Capt Jeff:  Here you go! Let her rip!

Green:       Everyone has read the rules?
                Wouldn?t want to look like fools

Gook:        In Latin all legal and Concise

J?inn:         Translation available for a price

Gook:        J?inn you do our profession proud

J?inn:        Shhh! Don?t say that quite so loud

Soreyes:    They have to be 10 pages long
                Better let me hit that bong

Fluf:          They aren?t so long give a try

Kortez:       Shaddup Fluf Bake me a pie!

Matsukasi:   Pies are fine but not my dreams
                 Fluf bake me some Krispy Kremes

Kroma:       If dreamy creamy is what needs baking
                Check out what Kroma has a? shakin

Matsukasi:  Knew I should have chosen Lyran
                Who let this tutu wearing queer in?
                Got recruited when I was plastard
                I?ll fix you yet Chuut you bastard.

Chuut:       I know it was a dirty trick
                But I?m not winging with Maverick
                Had to find another sucker
                Cause I?m avoiding that little f*#@%r

Hooch:      Well I?ll assume that you felines are playing?

Lyrkiller:     After giving the forums 1 good spraying.

Hooch:      So that was that awful smell

Kroma:      No I?m on my period can?t you tell

All:          EWWW, din't need that news imparted
              Can?t we get this server started?

Hooch:    Its up!  Its up!  Its time to play!

All:          We are so happy Yay! Yay! Yay!
              Damn, now its down, we are all distraught
        
Kortez:     You know its really all Fluf?s Fault
« Last Edit: June 28, 2004, 12:44:54 am by KAT Chuut-Ritt »

Offline KBFLordKrueg

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2004, 11:08:44 pm »
 :rofl:
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Offline SSCF-LeRoy

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2004, 11:21:10 pm »
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Offline GDA-Agave

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2004, 12:02:39 am »
Oh my God.  I'm gonna fall over my frickin chair.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maverick the spearman.  It's eternal now.   Hehehehehehe.

Great one chuut!!!

Brilliant!!


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Offline Fluf

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2004, 12:10:01 am »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

STOP IT!  I CANT TAKE ANYMORE!  :lol:
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Offline SkyFlyer

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2004, 12:25:51 am »
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE VOICES THEYRE BACK AHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE HORROR!
Life is short... running makes it seem longer.

"A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Offline IAF Lyrkiller

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2004, 12:29:23 am »
I am w/ Flufster, make it stop
« Last Edit: June 28, 2004, 12:32:18 am by Lyrkiller »




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Offline SkyFlyer

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2004, 12:31:34 am »
but youre not with me? pffy stupid kats
Life is short... running makes it seem longer.

"A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Offline IAF Lyrkiller

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2004, 12:34:28 am »
but youre not with me? pffy stupid kats


WATCH YOUR TONGUE! whelp... ;)




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Offline SkyFlyer

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2004, 12:42:43 am »
cats... i mean kats... are stupid... everyone knows that... Thats why fluf always screws up... hes considered retarded even by your standards... :) ima just playin fluf :)
Life is short... running makes it seem longer.

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Offline Entrail

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2004, 04:51:21 am »
Now why do i never get invited to these Drinking and Smoking meetings :banghead: :iamwithstupid: :spam: :2gun: :rules:

Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2004, 04:57:17 am »
You use David Spade for an avatar and you have to ask?

 :smackhead:

Offline Soreyes

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2004, 05:08:51 am »
 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :notworthy: :notworthy: :woot: :woot:


:dance:


[img width=600 height=150]

Offline Capt Jeff

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2004, 05:31:02 am »
Why am I always the one with the nip???

Oh, forgot something !!



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Offline KBF-Dogmatix_XC

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2004, 01:11:12 pm »
A little something I came across on the web:



If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<snip>


What do you mean, "if!?"
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Offline Bonk

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2004, 05:41:42 pm »
Why am I always the one with the nip???

Oh, forgot something !!






LOL, that is too mucking fuch! ...nothing like a frosty Bud!

And I liked your original effort at the Dr. Seuss much better than the one you found on the web. Good job Chuut! (somehow I imagine there were a few fatties involved ;))

Offline Grim

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #22 on: June 28, 2004, 07:30:46 pm »
 :lol:  :rofl:

Offline Green

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2004, 07:38:59 pm »
good post Chuut ...

Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #24 on: June 28, 2004, 11:07:01 pm »
Question is will the Coalition pilots be able to create a large enough bribe to prevent a Ventrillo edition.

<Smicker>

SSCF-Rolling

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2004, 11:08:30 pm »
<giggles>

Oh, which is worth more.... them paying a bribe or having a good long needed laugh?

Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #26 on: June 28, 2004, 11:11:08 pm »
<giggles>

Oh, which is worth more.... them paying a bribe or having a good long needed laugh?

depends on how large the bribe

 ;D

Offline C-Los

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #27 on: June 29, 2004, 07:36:55 am »
Excellent Chutty.... :lol: :rofl: :woot:

Everytime I think you can't get any better than your last one.....

You make my ribs hurt more !!!

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Offline SSCF-LeRoy

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #28 on: June 29, 2004, 08:59:59 am »
You fergot one thing, Chuut:

Where's the part about me makin' the server go down with my voice? :P

Offline KBF-WillWeasel

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #29 on: June 29, 2004, 10:59:44 am »
Question is will the Coalition pilots be able to create a large enough bribe to prevent a Ventrillo edition.

<Smicker>

If you only knew...... ;D
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Offline Strafer

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #30 on: June 29, 2004, 11:23:50 am »
Question is will the Coalition pilots be able to create a large enough bribe to prevent a Ventrillo edition.

<Smicker>

If you only knew...... ;D

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Offline KBF-Dogmatix_XC

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #31 on: June 29, 2004, 04:28:13 pm »
Question is will the Coalition pilots be able to create a large enough bribe to prevent a Ventrillo edition.

<Smicker>

We're not skeered o' you!  lol...


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Offline KAT Chuut-Ritt

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Re: If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...
« Reply #32 on: June 30, 2004, 12:46:22 am »
Question is will the Coalition pilots be able to create a large enough bribe to prevent a Ventrillo edition.

<Smicker>

We're not skeered o' you!  lol...

Ok so your stupid...... ;D (ps.  that goes for madelf too, I want your best, I aint afraid, stupid maybe but not afraid)