Its a Bitc# i agree I got through it by doing all you said above , Then i get my ship production cranking and set the rally point close to my star base. when my heavy ships are produced i set them ALL on red alert & free movement, then put them in assault wall formation. They will effectively guard your base while you keep cranking out the heaviest ships you can afford.
Then i start stacking ships in assault wall formation red alert free movement again, Then number them 1-5 etc. Move them a little bit away from any gravity wells so warp travel is not impeded, All 1-5 ( Fleets not just one ship!) in one spot so they arrive at one time. Then in rapid succession ( about a second apart) Target the fleet lurking near or in the enemy star base, The base ,ship yards research facility etc. If you do it fast enough all of your ships will arrive about the same time, And completely butcher any thing in the area!!
Make sure you spend the resources so you can up grade your weapons ,engines, shields, sensors as they will really help your fleets survive,
Don't leap before your are ready and good luck!!!! ( Don't let it get to you this one ticked me off for about 2 weeks)
KaP`LaH! Ravok