A Scottish thief tried to siphon off someone else's diesel fuel ? but ended up getting a mouthful of raw sewage instead.
John O'Hare, 73, and his wife May, 69, of Glasgow had spent a week touring Scotland in their camper van and had parked at their final stop just a few miles from home, reports the Scottish Daily Record.
While they were sound asleep, a thief crept up to their encampment with a plastic hose and fuel container, intending to poach some diesel.
He apparently stuck one end in his mouth in order to get the siphon going ? and, in the darkness, the other end not into the van's fuel tank, but into its septic chamber.
The next morning, the O'Hares stepped outside to find on the ground: the plastic hose; the fuel container; the entire contents of the septic tank; and a puddle of human vomit.
"I hope the thief has learned from his experience and given up his evil ways," laughed John O'Hare to the newspaper on Sunday.
Also lying on the ground were several pound coins, which O'Hare thinks may have been robbed from a vending machine. He gave the money to charity.
"Fortunately for us," said O'Hare, "he was left with a nasty taste in his mouth."
And I bet he did get a mouth full when it came out.