Topic: I'm curious

[EE]

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Don't protest.  I don't want to hear your excuses; they are nothing new.  Just take control --you can do it.

Do it.

Funny, I was thinking the same of your arguments.  I didn't come on here for pity, I don't need it and i don't like pity.  I was acting emotional when everything went bad between the two of us way back when, I'm not just acting out of emotion now.  When I say I'm doing the best I can, I mean it.  When I say I've reached my max, I've reached it.  I'm not just sitting around moping about, I'm out looking for jobs, and not getting anywhere.  I'm out trying to make friends, and not gettign anywhere.  I'm staying active and trying to be social, and things continue to get worse.  Every few hours I spend with someone I feel drained for a couple days afterwards, emotionally and mentally, and still I press on as best as I can continueing to do all those cliche things everyone keeps telling me to do, and all it gets me is feeling even worse.I wish I were just sitting around the house moping, I miss those old days where I sat alone eating my birthday cake alone in the dark.  It was easier to be alone in the dark than alone in a crowd, but still I listen to everyone else and go on with the advice you just spit out at me.  It's like beating a dead horse, but I do it anyway.
And no, ECT is nothing I would ever submit to voluntarily.

CK  

I know about the stress and depression that comes with not having work etc. March 1st I started my new job. I got the job through someone who is now my friend. She did not know it, not that anyone did, but I was so stressed out that I could not sleep and had trouble functioning. I was 2 days from being homeless, I had 43 cents ( Approx ) to my name. I was damned near out of gas for my car, I was eatting 1 or 2 packages of top ramen a day for food which was as cheap as I could get at 10 to 20 cents a meal. My cats were almost out of food and litter at the time as well.

It sucked, I could not sleep, when I did sleep I was having all kinda of bad dreams, I did not want to eat but I did only because I knew I needed to. I did not want to go out to do anything because I had given up hope. I did not have the gas to find work and I was 2 days from being homeless, I had pretty much gave up at that point. Then her windshield wiper motor broke and she asked me if I could fix it. I did so and her dad needed someone to work with him and his nephew in his business and now I have work. Now I have $20 every two weeks to my name after paying all my bills and stuff. I am still stressed and still dont lead much of a life but hell, its getting better and its working out, like it usually does.

I've been homeless before, 4 months in the winter back in missouri when I was out visiting and refused help from family etc, none of them knew I became homeless thats how much I refused help. I know it can be hard but I know you got the power in ya.

God I hope some of that makes sense.

[JMM]

Domicillary, it is a very nice building behind the hospital in Temple and other select locations. They have 3 programs (usually a waiting list), SATP (substance abuse treatment program but you must be mentally stable), voc rehab (they drive you to different places to apply for work and you stay at the dom and save money until you reach your savings goal with the counselor involved then they help you find housing so that you can start your life over), and last is health maint. (people that have health problems and need to be near the hospital while they recuperate). 2 man rooms, nice bed and lockers and desk (just imagine the modern barracks in the military and you get the idea). you do a morning chore (very easy) and they have civil service cooks that cook you 3 hots a day (very nice mess hall complete with salad bar and everything), movies, PX in the building (more like a shopette), full medical services including physicals and they even have their own sick call that is in the building. Civilians would die to have such a service, and there are some vets that need to quit sucking tit and leave to make space for other vets in need, but they will not and play the medical and political game. Please inquire your local VA about the nearest dom. You will need to apply, and they will interview you, but YOU will get squared away. Yes, they have telephones in each room (is how I used dial up to get online).

Waco has a dom as well (they had it before, then got rid of it, then started another one because of the empty buildings that got renovated with millions of taxpayer dollars and were sitting empty and we had many vets in need). I liked Waco as well as Temple when I was there for major depression (Waco has the psych ward) because they have a library with computer lab, so I could communicate with Vicky, you guys and gals, and my ex (I need her whenever I'm in the area because we all need support and supplies).

Like I said, if things get too rough, inquire at the VA about getting into the dom, at least you will be near your own kind. I just got out of the civvie rehab and I hated it, the noise, the BS, and the crappy facilities. I'm going to e-mail Sen Hutchison and tell her the El Paso VA system needs an overhaul as there are many vets in need yet since few facilities they contract out, the money would be better spent and saved by building a dom facility in the El Paso area.

I can try to get you more info if your VA cannot help. If worse comes to worse, finish your semester and I will fly you to Austin and Leda can take you to Temple and Waco and you can look at the facilities and decide if you like (like I said, central Texas VA spends money on their vets and facilities) and we can try to get you squared away, ok? If you do decide, let me know in advance so that I can make an advance purchase on airfare, I'm ok on money, but I'm not wealthy by any means.  

[IndyShark]

Clark, if I may suggest two things, please consider working out more often and getting a pet.

I would out three times a week and find it a great way to relax and take my mind off things that depress or anger me. The body produces chemicals that make you feel good when you do a lot of exercise. It's hard to do, but the physical and mental rewards are well worth it.

Secondly, pets have a soothing effect on humans. I have a few and playing with them is very relaxing. This may not be a cure, but it will take your mind off depressing thoughts for a while. I have started breeding CITES class 3 animals and it is a really blast to help save endangered animals. I highly recommend it!

Best of luck to you!  

[Clark Kent]

JMM, that has to be the most generous offer I can ever remember getting.  However, I'm thinking that I'll be in MN for at least the next couple years, though.  When I went back to school I didn't do it with the GI bill, I'm enrolled in a VA program Called Chapter 31, or vocational rehabilitation.  I traded my GI bill in for it, they pay for all my classes, books and supplies needed for whatever program I go into, along with some subsistance each month.  The subsiistance isn't enough for me to live on each month, but it's a start.  Since I still have some money saved up, i was considering making some small purchases to build on and sell over eBay, but I'm not sure what to try to sell, how to keep supplying myself or even how well it would work.  
Thanks very much for your offer, I erally do appreciate it,

CK

[JMM]

Just keep letting us know if you ever need us, we are there... I used to think Hispanics were badarse because they do have strong family ties, but they have not got anything on us Taldrenites!  

[Clark Kent]

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Just keep letting us know if you ever need us, we are there... I used to think Hispanics were badarse because they do have strong family ties, but they have not got anything on us Taldrenites!  

And their women are so friggin hot.  SO are asian women for that matter...

CK