Have you ordered your copy of Dynaverse.Net Updated OP Strategy Guide? Order here : LULU.COM
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Quote: News Story Check this out! X Prize in sight, brought to you by civilians!Erm, this was actually it's 3rd flight! Enjoy!
Quote:Yet another thing for Microsoft to monopolize. Space!With the way things are going, by the 24th century the alpha quadrant will be under the control of the United Federation of Microsoft...
Quote:This is the Captain speaking: I would like to thank you all for riding the good ship Redmond. I must apologize for the system crash that has just occured and which is about to kil us all. Have a nice day.
Quote:Quote: News Story Check this out! X Prize in sight, brought to you by civilians!Erm, this was actually it's 3rd flight! Enjoy! Your a little slow. Link Another LinkThere have in fact been a number of threads on this issue since they began test flights.
Quote:You know, my #1 pet peeve on this board are people who feel obligated to cut down the posts that others have put up self-righteously telling them that their post had already been discussed in some other thread. What possible use is a response like this? If you have already read the discussion then go off and read some other thread. Leave this guy alone. Jeez.
Quote:Nemesis, Javora, TalonClaw...LOL!Good ones
Quote:The Microsoft BorgIn the wake of the emergence of the free Linux operating system, a quick look into the future."Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript:(Picard) "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"(Geordi)"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."(Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.)(Riker looks puzzled.) "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"(Data turns to answer.) "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit,it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."(Picard) "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"(Data) "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions."(Picard) "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea.".. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .(Data) "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."(Geordi) "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."(Picard) "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we have missed."(Data) "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.(Riker) "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."(Geordi, excited) "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"(Picard) "Data, what do your scanners show?"(Data) "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."(Picard) "Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality.".. . . Two Hours Pass . . .(Riker) "Geordi, what's the status of the Borg?"(Geordi) "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have set up our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.(Picard) "How much time will that buy us?"(Data) "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an interest time span of 6 more hours."(Geordi) "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."(Picard) "Identify."(Data) "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo."(Over the speakers) "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP 'MONOPOLY'. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS."(Data) "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."(Picard) "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft."(Riker) "Good God, Captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!"(Data) "I don't believe that those are humans,sir. If you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by Twenty-first Century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and they are wearing Armani suits."(Riker and Picard together, horrified) "Lawyers!!"(Geordi) "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."(Data) "True, but apparently some must have survived."(Riker) "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers."(Data) "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape'. It often proves fatal."(Riker) "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"(Picard) "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that.
Quote:Brings a whole new meaning to "Blue screen of death" as you are plummetting in an uncontrolled re-entry...
Quote:PICARD: And so, Starfleet believes that this new computer system will increase efficiency and crew morale.RIKER: But sir, I did some research, and this "Windows 95" operating system was widely rejected on Earth in the early twenty-first century. How can Starfleet believe that this ancient system will help us?PICARD: Personally, I have no idea.LaFORGE: So, how are we going to install this software?PICARD: Actually, it's been installed already, and I will activate it right now (pushes buttons on wall panel).TROI: Will there be a period of time to get familiar with this thing?PICARD: Yes, two weeks. Apparently, that's how long it will take to actually run correctly. Dismissed.Two Weeks Later...PICARD: Helm, heading 722 mark 170. Warp 7.HELM: (haltingly, pushing control board) Aye... sir.PICARD: Engage. (nothing happens) Engage! (nothing) I gave you an order, ensign!HELM: Sir, you have to wait for it to load up... just a minute... Okay... Desktop... "Warp" icon. Setting 7. "Invalid setting?" Oh, sorry...! I accidentally put 70! Ha, ha?(Annoyed looks from everyone.)HELM: OK! Click "Do you want to go to warp speed?" YES! Loading, please wait. 100%. There you go!RIKER: That took a full minute, ensign. If we're in an emergency and it takes you a MINUTE to respond....HELM: With all due respect sir, it was this damn computer that took so long!PICARD: Picard to Engineering, can you speed up this computer system?LaFORGE: (over communicator) Sir, to tell you the truth, we have no idea what kind of files even run the Windows system! We'll try to defrag the system....HELM: Sir, we've dropped out of warp.PICARD: Why?HELM: The warp engines program "has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."RIKER: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!PICARD: I will make a full report to Starfleet on these problems. I'll be in my ready room. (Picard walks towards the door... and walks into it.) Why won't the door open?OPERATIONS: Sir, the system froze. Ctrl, Alt, Delete! Restart!RIKER: NO!(The lights go off, life support shuts down, all is silent.)OPERATIONS: Oops.RIKER: This is great, just great. I hate Windows.OPERATIONS: Wait, it's coming back on. Performing a RAM test. Testing for drives. Ooooh, the Windows logo is on!ALL: (sarcastically) Oh, goodie.OPERATIONS: And we're back on! (lights go on, etc.)HELM: Sir, I've gotten warp engines back online! So far, so good!PICARD: Very good, ensign.HELM: Damn! It performed another illegal operation!RIKER: Can I shoot the computer?OPERATIONS: Sir, there's a ship approaching... the U.S.S. Microsoft. Registry NT-2000, Admiral Bill Gates commanding.WORF: We are being hailed.PICARD: On screen.(Bill Gates comes on, wearing duct tape glasses, bow tie, etc.)GATES: (dork voice) Umm... excuse me, Captain Picard... we are conducting a survey. I developed Windows 95. How much do you like or dislike the Windows 95 operating system?PICARD: Well... we hate... (screen blanks out) WHAT HAPPENED? ANOTHER ILLEGAL OPERATION?!WORF: No... because Engineering is trying to defrag the system, all windows must be closed.RIKER: (falling in chair) Do we really need this?PICARD: Starfleet Command thinks so.RIKER: They aren't using this.OPERATIONS: Sir, a Romulan warbird has decloaked and it is firing on the Microsoft. (cheers) It has been destroyed! (more cheers) Bill Gates is dead! (joyful weeping)OPERATIONS: They're firing on us! (ship shakes)PICARD: Worf, fire! Helm, evasive maneuvers!WORF: Yes, sir. What is this? "File not found?" We installed the phaser software. It's there! Don't give me that "File not found" crap! Shields cannot raise due to "insufficient free memory?"HELM: "Program has performed an illegal operation... ignore or close." Ignore... ignore, ignore! Ignore! IGNORE! IT WON'T IGNORE! ALL RIGHT! CLOSE THE DAMN THING! SEE IF I CARE! (Ship stops)PICARD: Fire photon torpedoes!WORF: It froze... sir, it found an error and is recommending that we run "Scandisk." Sir?PICARD: Computer, what is "Scandisk?"COMPUTER: File not found. Windows is searching for this file. To look for it yourself, click "Browse."PICARD: Captain, I'm sensing a great deal of frustration and hatred toward this system.DATA: (coming from turbolift) Sir, I will attempt to hook up to the ships computer. Processing.... File not found... Processing.... File not found... Processing.... File not found... Processing.... File not found...RIKER: Make it stop!(Romulan ship is still firing.)PICARD: Transporter room, quickly! Beam over a copy of Windows!O'BRIEN: Aye, sir. (he beams copy aboard)WORF: Captain, they have stopped firing.(Romulan ship explodes.)RIKER: It would appear they committed suicide.OPERATIONS: Sir, we've just received a transmission from Starfleet. It contains an upgrade program called "Windows 98."PICARD: Install it, PLEASE!OPERATIONS: Installed, sir. Turning on the computer. Whoa, what's a "fatal system error?"RIKER: How should I know?TROI: I believe crew members are beginning to shoot themselves, captain.(All lights go off, everything hooked up to computer dies.)DATA: It would appear the system crashed.PICARD: How did people survive the twentieth century with this piece of crap?
Quote:Quote:You know, my #1 pet peeve on this board are people who feel obligated to cut down the posts that others have put up self-righteously telling them that their post had already been discussed in some other thread. What possible use is a response like this? If you have already read the discussion then go off and read some other thread. Leave this guy alone. Jeez. First of all my post was not intended in any way to be insulting, self righteous or designed to cut down the poster.Second by giving him links to the prior posts it allowed him to see and if he wished to take part in the prior conversations on that topic. It provided him with information that he might not already have without requiring anyone else to retype or cut and paste messages from all over. If you or he do not find the prior discussions interesting you and he are quite welcome to ignore them. At least now if he feels ignored he knows it is not because the topic was uninteresting to everyone but because we had already discussed it. He also has the opportunity to respond to prior information and commentary either in the thread it originated in (most effective because of continuity) or in his own (less effective in general because of the break in continuity). Something he does not have if he does not know that the prior thread existed. Perhaps he (Anthony_Scott) will say whether he found the links to earlier threads interesting, usefull, annoying or insulting.
Quote:So that is why you told him he was slow (smiley face notwithstanding...) ?
Quote:Links to old threads yes or no? (Total Votes: 13)Yes, its helpful 9 69%Neither, its neutral 2 15%No, its insulting 0 0%Who cares? 0 0%I blame J'inn 2 15%other 0 0%
Quote: ... and another minority blames J'inn , none oppose.
Topic: Private spacecraft Makes Successful 1st Flight (Read 5824 times)