Topic: Microsoft owns patent on Apple (REALLY) (Read 5445 times)

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **on:** May 05, 2004, 10:10:54 pm »

Microsoft Applle patent story

Praxis · « **Reply #1 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:17:26 pm »

ROFL! That's HILARIOUS!

Almost as funny as the "Borg Sue Apple Over Cube" story, except that one is real

http://www.lowendmac.com/rumormill/2k0802.html

Stormbringer · « **Reply #2 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:34:45 pm »

Cthulu sues Microsoft. It's here somewhere.

Kmelew · « **Reply #3 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:38:30 pm »

"And in other news, the American Association of Apple Growers has petitioned the Justice Department to investigate Microsoft's 'monopolistic practices' in the apple growing industry. Said spokeman John Doe, 'Consumers deserve choice. Why should they be forced to buy Microsoft's Golden Delicious when they really want a MacIntosh?'"

Praxis · « **Reply #4 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:45:21 pm »

Well well well, you've been copying and pasting off Slashdot again, haven't you...its the front page

Stormbringer · « **Reply #5 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:50:00 pm »

The Cthulhu look-and-feel suit
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys

Sirs:

Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.

With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:

Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.

As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.

We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.

Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]

pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D

Praxis · « **Reply #6 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:57:30 pm »

Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan

Linux Kernel delayed by Microsoft's army of evil monkeys!

Stormbringer · « **Reply #7 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:03:24 pm »

Good finds!

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **Reply #8 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:09:23 pm »

You missed an important one.

An oldie admittedly.

Sirgod · « **Reply #9 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:20:42 pm »

This thread Is great. Adam's Apple, Cthulu. lol

Stephen

Stormbringer · « **Reply #10 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:21:53 pm »

Another good one!

Ravok · « **Reply #11 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:36:02 am »

I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys

Borg spokes drone

You guys are nuts!!!

Sirgod · « **Reply #12 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:38:46 am »

Quote:

I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys Borg spokes drone
You guys are nuts!!!

we are not here to entertain you. Prepare to be assimilated. Press the any key to accept out demands.

Stephen

Ravok · « **Reply #13 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:50:23 am »

Ha! don't be foolish!!!! at this moment MY army of Evil Monkeys is mounting a counter attack!!!!!
You will soon all bow to me RAVOK LORD OF THE EVIL MONKEY ARMY!!!

Praxis · « **Reply #14 on:** May 06, 2004, 01:17:47 am »

Sorry...since Microsoft now owns the rights to evil, you have to pay them a tax on each of your evil monkeys. So no matter how big your army is, you'll always be giving them enough to build a bigger one :P

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **Reply #15 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:10:54 pm »

Microsoft Applle patent story

Praxis · « **Reply #16 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:17:26 pm »

ROFL! That's HILARIOUS!

Almost as funny as the "Borg Sue Apple Over Cube" story, except that one is real

http://www.lowendmac.com/rumormill/2k0802.html

Stormbringer · « **Reply #17 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:34:45 pm »

Cthulu sues Microsoft. It's here somewhere.

Kmelew · « **Reply #18 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:38:30 pm »

"And in other news, the American Association of Apple Growers has petitioned the Justice Department to investigate Microsoft's 'monopolistic practices' in the apple growing industry. Said spokeman John Doe, 'Consumers deserve choice. Why should they be forced to buy Microsoft's Golden Delicious when they really want a MacIntosh?'"

Praxis · « **Reply #19 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:45:21 pm »

Well well well, you've been copying and pasting off Slashdot again, haven't you...its the front page

Stormbringer · « **Reply #20 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:50:00 pm »

The Cthulhu look-and-feel suit
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys

Sirs:

Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.

With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:

Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.

As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.

We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.

Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]

pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D

Praxis · « **Reply #21 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:57:30 pm »

Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan

Linux Kernel delayed by Microsoft's army of evil monkeys!

Stormbringer · « **Reply #22 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:03:24 pm »

Good finds!

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **Reply #23 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:09:23 pm »

You missed an important one.

An oldie admittedly.

Sirgod · « **Reply #24 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:20:42 pm »

This thread Is great. Adam's Apple, Cthulu. lol

Stephen

Stormbringer · « **Reply #25 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:21:53 pm »

Another good one!

Ravok · « **Reply #26 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:36:02 am »

I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys

Borg spokes drone

You guys are nuts!!!

Ravok · « **Reply #28 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:50:23 am »

Ha! don't be foolish!!!! at this moment MY army of Evil Monkeys is mounting a counter attack!!!!!
You will soon all bow to me RAVOK LORD OF THE EVIL MONKEY ARMY!!!

Praxis · « **Reply #29 on:** May 06, 2004, 01:17:47 am »

Sorry...since Microsoft now owns the rights to evil, you have to pay them a tax on each of your evil monkeys. So no matter how big your army is, you'll always be giving them enough to build a bigger one :P

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **Reply #30 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:10:54 pm »

Microsoft Applle patent story

Praxis · « **Reply #31 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:17:26 pm »

ROFL! That's HILARIOUS!

Almost as funny as the "Borg Sue Apple Over Cube" story, except that one is real

http://www.lowendmac.com/rumormill/2k0802.html

Stormbringer · « **Reply #32 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:34:45 pm »

Cthulu sues Microsoft. It's here somewhere.

Kmelew · « **Reply #33 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:38:30 pm »

"And in other news, the American Association of Apple Growers has petitioned the Justice Department to investigate Microsoft's 'monopolistic practices' in the apple growing industry. Said spokeman John Doe, 'Consumers deserve choice. Why should they be forced to buy Microsoft's Golden Delicious when they really want a MacIntosh?'"

Praxis · « **Reply #34 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:45:21 pm »

Well well well, you've been copying and pasting off Slashdot again, haven't you...its the front page

Stormbringer · « **Reply #35 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:50:00 pm »

The Cthulhu look-and-feel suit
To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc.
From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys

Sirs:

Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones.

With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons:

Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user.The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation.

As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them.

We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place.

Respectfully yours,
[Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor]

pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D

Praxis · « **Reply #36 on:** May 05, 2004, 10:57:30 pm »

Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan

Linux Kernel delayed by Microsoft's army of evil monkeys!

Stormbringer · « **Reply #37 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:03:24 pm »

Good finds!

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **Reply #38 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:09:23 pm »

You missed an important one.

An oldie admittedly.

Sirgod · « **Reply #39 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:20:42 pm »

This thread Is great. Adam's Apple, Cthulu. lol

Stephen

Stormbringer · « **Reply #40 on:** May 05, 2004, 11:21:53 pm »

Another good one!

Ravok · « **Reply #41 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:36:02 am »

I gotta agree!! Army of evil monkeys

Borg spokes drone

You guys are nuts!!!

Ravok · « **Reply #43 on:** May 06, 2004, 12:50:23 am »

Ha! don't be foolish!!!! at this moment MY army of Evil Monkeys is mounting a counter attack!!!!!
You will soon all bow to me RAVOK LORD OF THE EVIL MONKEY ARMY!!!

Praxis · « **Reply #44 on:** May 06, 2004, 01:17:47 am »

Sorry...since Microsoft now owns the rights to evil, you have to pay them a tax on each of your evil monkeys. So no matter how big your army is, you'll always be giving them enough to build a bigger one :P

News:

Topic: Microsoft owns patent on Apple (REALLY) (Read 5445 times) var addthis_config = {"data_track_clickback":true};

IKV Nemesis D7L

Praxis

Stormbringer

Kmelew

Praxis

Stormbringer

Praxis

Stormbringer

IKV Nemesis D7L

Sirgod

Stormbringer

Ravok

Sirgod

Ravok

Praxis

IKV Nemesis D7L

Praxis

Stormbringer

Kmelew

Praxis

Stormbringer

Praxis

Stormbringer

IKV Nemesis D7L

Sirgod

Stormbringer

Ravok

Sirgod

Ravok

Praxis

IKV Nemesis D7L

Praxis

Stormbringer

Kmelew

Praxis

Stormbringer

Praxis

Stormbringer

IKV Nemesis D7L

Sirgod

Stormbringer

Ravok

Sirgod

Ravok

Praxis

Topic: Microsoft owns patent on Apple (REALLY) (Read 5445 times)