Topic: Two Nuns.

[Sirgod]

Two Nuns & A Stalker

Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical(SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?

SM.: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to have his way with us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.

SM: It is not working.

SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.

So the man decided to go after Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he followed me.

SM: So, what happened? Please tell us.

SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.

SM: So what happened?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And what else?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.

SM: Oh, no! What did you do then?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!

(And you thought it would be dirty! Say two Hail Mary's...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Stephen

[Interloper]

nice    

[Dracho]

Sister Mary and Sister Margaret are on a driving tour of Translyvania, when a teeny tiny vampire flies up and attaches itself to their windwhield.

Sister Mary looks at sister Margaret and says, "Oh no.. it's a vampire, what shall we do?"

Sister Margaret grins back and says, "No problem I planned for this.  There is holy water in the windshield washer.  Zap him".

Sister Mary hits him with the water from the windshield washer.  He sizzles a little, makes a mean face at the two nuns, but hangs on to one of the windshield wipers.

Sister Mary looks at Sister Margaret and says, "uh oh... that didn't work.  What shall we do now?"

Sister Margaret looks back and says, "Well...... show him your cross"..

Sister Mary rolls down her window, hangs her head out and yells, "Get off my f-ing hood!"  

(rimshot)      

[Capt. Mike]

Thanks..I needed a good laugh before going to work..it's 5:29..too durn early

Mike
 

[vsfedwards]

Two nuns are redecorating the entrance hall of their church. After a while one of the nuns get a splash of paint on their clothing. She exclaims.
"ooh, this is no good dear, were going to have to take our clothes off, we cant show up later all covered in paint now can we"
The other nun looked at her nervously, and at first declined, but after a few more splashes of paint, they agreed and took their clothes off and continued painting the walls.
About quarter of an hour later there was a loud knock on the door. The two nuns leaped with shock, after a moment of calming themselves down the one nun called out "wh...who is it?"
"Its the blind man" came a reply from behind the door.
"ooh thank god, hes blind he wont see a thing, let him in sister"
So the nun walks up and lets the man in, covering herself with the door, when he enters she shuts the door.
The blind man turned to her "Nice rack love, now where do you want the new blinds?"

[Mog]

Two nuns are walking along a beach when a streaker runs past them. One had a stroke, the other wasn't quick enough.

[Sirgod]

Two Nuns & A Stalker

Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical(SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?

SM.: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to have his way with us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.

SM: It is not working.

SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.

So the man decided to go after Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he followed me.

SM: So, what happened? Please tell us.

SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.

SM: So what happened?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And what else?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.

SM: Oh, no! What did you do then?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!

(And you thought it would be dirty! Say two Hail Mary's...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Stephen

[Interloper]

nice    

[Dracho]

Sister Mary and Sister Margaret are on a driving tour of Translyvania, when a teeny tiny vampire flies up and attaches itself to their windwhield.

Sister Mary looks at sister Margaret and says, "Oh no.. it's a vampire, what shall we do?"

Sister Margaret grins back and says, "No problem I planned for this.  There is holy water in the windshield washer.  Zap him".

Sister Mary hits him with the water from the windshield washer.  He sizzles a little, makes a mean face at the two nuns, but hangs on to one of the windshield wipers.

Sister Mary looks at Sister Margaret and says, "uh oh... that didn't work.  What shall we do now?"

Sister Margaret looks back and says, "Well...... show him your cross"..

Sister Mary rolls down her window, hangs her head out and yells, "Get off my f-ing hood!"  

(rimshot)      

[Capt. Mike]

Thanks..I needed a good laugh before going to work..it's 5:29..too durn early

Mike
 

[vsfedwards]

Two nuns are redecorating the entrance hall of their church. After a while one of the nuns get a splash of paint on their clothing. She exclaims.
"ooh, this is no good dear, were going to have to take our clothes off, we cant show up later all covered in paint now can we"
The other nun looked at her nervously, and at first declined, but after a few more splashes of paint, they agreed and took their clothes off and continued painting the walls.
About quarter of an hour later there was a loud knock on the door. The two nuns leaped with shock, after a moment of calming themselves down the one nun called out "wh...who is it?"
"Its the blind man" came a reply from behind the door.
"ooh thank god, hes blind he wont see a thing, let him in sister"
So the nun walks up and lets the man in, covering herself with the door, when he enters she shuts the door.
The blind man turned to her "Nice rack love, now where do you want the new blinds?"

[Mog]

Two nuns are walking along a beach when a streaker runs past them. One had a stroke, the other wasn't quick enough.

[Sirgod]

Two Nuns & A Stalker

Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical(SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?

SM.: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to have his way with us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.

SM: It is not working.

SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.

So the man decided to go after Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he followed me.

SM: So, what happened? Please tell us.

SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.

SM: So what happened?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And what else?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.

SM: Oh, no! What did you do then?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!

(And you thought it would be dirty! Say two Hail Mary's...)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Stephen

[Interloper]

nice    

[Dracho]

Sister Mary and Sister Margaret are on a driving tour of Translyvania, when a teeny tiny vampire flies up and attaches itself to their windwhield.

Sister Mary looks at sister Margaret and says, "Oh no.. it's a vampire, what shall we do?"

Sister Margaret grins back and says, "No problem I planned for this.  There is holy water in the windshield washer.  Zap him".

Sister Mary hits him with the water from the windshield washer.  He sizzles a little, makes a mean face at the two nuns, but hangs on to one of the windshield wipers.

Sister Mary looks at Sister Margaret and says, "uh oh... that didn't work.  What shall we do now?"

Sister Margaret looks back and says, "Well...... show him your cross"..

Sister Mary rolls down her window, hangs her head out and yells, "Get off my f-ing hood!"  

(rimshot)      

[Capt. Mike]

Thanks..I needed a good laugh before going to work..it's 5:29..too durn early

Mike
 

[vsfedwards]

Two nuns are redecorating the entrance hall of their church. After a while one of the nuns get a splash of paint on their clothing. She exclaims.
"ooh, this is no good dear, were going to have to take our clothes off, we cant show up later all covered in paint now can we"
The other nun looked at her nervously, and at first declined, but after a few more splashes of paint, they agreed and took their clothes off and continued painting the walls.
About quarter of an hour later there was a loud knock on the door. The two nuns leaped with shock, after a moment of calming themselves down the one nun called out "wh...who is it?"
"Its the blind man" came a reply from behind the door.
"ooh thank god, hes blind he wont see a thing, let him in sister"
So the nun walks up and lets the man in, covering herself with the door, when he enters she shuts the door.
The blind man turned to her "Nice rack love, now where do you want the new blinds?"

[Mog]

Two nuns are walking along a beach when a streaker runs past them. One had a stroke, the other wasn't quick enough.