Topic: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit  (Read 1235 times)

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Rat_Boy

  • Guest
Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« on: April 01, 2004, 11:33:25 am »
See the new face of evil on the front page.


New theme park announced:

Quote:

The proposed attractions include: the Antimatter Horn; It's a Thrall World; Orion Pirates of the Caribbean; Great Nanoseconds with Mr. Data; Captain Picard's Wild Ride; Vash Mountain; Country Targ Jamboree; Haunted Mess Hall; Janus VI Cruise; Enchanted Horga'hn Room, Main Street U.F.P.; Starfleet Tours; Morn-o-rail; Odo-pia; Harry Mudd Hatter; the U.S.S. Columbia starship; Dr. Noonien Soong's Treehouse; and the Cyrano Jones and the Tribbles of Doom Adventure.





All the election coverage that's fit to print:

Quote:

A long-time statistical indicator of election results, the Ferengi Bookmaking Authority (FBA) has issued this season's odds, with Inyo comfortably sitting on 1-2 odds, while Andorian entertainer Threk is his nearest rival at 20-1, Iotian knockoff candidate Joresh-Onyi at 55-1 and cryogenic revival Ralph Nader at 266-1.





Why assimilation isn't necessairly a bad thing:

Quote:

10. The health care plan is flawless.
9.   No longer have to wonder what it's like to sleep standing up.
8.   Never at a loss for an opening line.
7.   Excellent Frequent Flyer miles.
6.   Having dreams of Seven of Nine with her hair down.





So that's what happened to the Klingons:

Quote:

"The way I see it," said noted Klingon warrior Kor just prior to his glorious death, "the advantage I get on the battlefield with a larger, bulging forehead and incredible hair far outweighs any drawbacks from steroid use. To me, it's worth it. A true warrior has no regrets."





Introducing the next Trek show:

Quote:

They are the va'B Five: an elite team of Klingons dedicated to extolling the simple virtues of honor, tradition and style.

Each week their mission is to transform an honor-deficient and culture-deprived human from weakling to warrior in each of their respective categories: fashion, cuisine, grooming, ritual and honorable living.





Shatner to return to Trek:

Quote:

In a continuation of the Temporal Cold War throughline, Daniels gets confused one day and instead of transporting Captain Archer to a future Starship Enterprise, he brings Captain Kirk backwards in time to the NX-01. Rather than admit his mistake, he just leaves Kirk in the 22nd century, claiming, "I meant to do that." With two captains onboard Enterprise, the inevitable wackiness ensues.


 

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2004, 11:50:32 am »
LOL, Great stuff RB.

stephen

Dash Jones

  • Guest
Re: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2004, 04:58:15 pm »
Ah, that was great!

But the last one...that actually might get me interested in Enterprise again if it ever happened, as well as having Archer killed off and Kirk as the main character...etc...etc...

I like the headline they had at the front of the page though...of the home page that is...

Next on
Star Trek:
Enterprise

"SHE"

More feared than Xindi-Reptilians...
More ruthless than Xindi-Insectoids...
Archer's deadliest foe revealed...


Xindi Brady!

Rat_Boy

  • Guest
Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2004, 11:33:25 am »
See the new face of evil on the front page.


New theme park announced:

Quote:

The proposed attractions include: the Antimatter Horn; It's a Thrall World; Orion Pirates of the Caribbean; Great Nanoseconds with Mr. Data; Captain Picard's Wild Ride; Vash Mountain; Country Targ Jamboree; Haunted Mess Hall; Janus VI Cruise; Enchanted Horga'hn Room, Main Street U.F.P.; Starfleet Tours; Morn-o-rail; Odo-pia; Harry Mudd Hatter; the U.S.S. Columbia starship; Dr. Noonien Soong's Treehouse; and the Cyrano Jones and the Tribbles of Doom Adventure.





All the election coverage that's fit to print:

Quote:

A long-time statistical indicator of election results, the Ferengi Bookmaking Authority (FBA) has issued this season's odds, with Inyo comfortably sitting on 1-2 odds, while Andorian entertainer Threk is his nearest rival at 20-1, Iotian knockoff candidate Joresh-Onyi at 55-1 and cryogenic revival Ralph Nader at 266-1.





Why assimilation isn't necessairly a bad thing:

Quote:

10. The health care plan is flawless.
9.   No longer have to wonder what it's like to sleep standing up.
8.   Never at a loss for an opening line.
7.   Excellent Frequent Flyer miles.
6.   Having dreams of Seven of Nine with her hair down.





So that's what happened to the Klingons:

Quote:

"The way I see it," said noted Klingon warrior Kor just prior to his glorious death, "the advantage I get on the battlefield with a larger, bulging forehead and incredible hair far outweighs any drawbacks from steroid use. To me, it's worth it. A true warrior has no regrets."





Introducing the next Trek show:

Quote:

They are the va'B Five: an elite team of Klingons dedicated to extolling the simple virtues of honor, tradition and style.

Each week their mission is to transform an honor-deficient and culture-deprived human from weakling to warrior in each of their respective categories: fashion, cuisine, grooming, ritual and honorable living.





Shatner to return to Trek:

Quote:

In a continuation of the Temporal Cold War throughline, Daniels gets confused one day and instead of transporting Captain Archer to a future Starship Enterprise, he brings Captain Kirk backwards in time to the NX-01. Rather than admit his mistake, he just leaves Kirk in the 22nd century, claiming, "I meant to do that." With two captains onboard Enterprise, the inevitable wackiness ensues.


 

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2004, 11:50:32 am »
LOL, Great stuff RB.

stephen

Dash Jones

  • Guest
Re: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2004, 04:58:15 pm »
Ah, that was great!

But the last one...that actually might get me interested in Enterprise again if it ever happened, as well as having Archer killed off and Kirk as the main character...etc...etc...

I like the headline they had at the front of the page though...of the home page that is...

Next on
Star Trek:
Enterprise

"SHE"

More feared than Xindi-Reptilians...
More ruthless than Xindi-Insectoids...
Archer's deadliest foe revealed...


Xindi Brady!

Rat_Boy

  • Guest
Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2004, 11:33:25 am »
See the new face of evil on the front page.


New theme park announced:

Quote:

The proposed attractions include: the Antimatter Horn; It's a Thrall World; Orion Pirates of the Caribbean; Great Nanoseconds with Mr. Data; Captain Picard's Wild Ride; Vash Mountain; Country Targ Jamboree; Haunted Mess Hall; Janus VI Cruise; Enchanted Horga'hn Room, Main Street U.F.P.; Starfleet Tours; Morn-o-rail; Odo-pia; Harry Mudd Hatter; the U.S.S. Columbia starship; Dr. Noonien Soong's Treehouse; and the Cyrano Jones and the Tribbles of Doom Adventure.





All the election coverage that's fit to print:

Quote:

A long-time statistical indicator of election results, the Ferengi Bookmaking Authority (FBA) has issued this season's odds, with Inyo comfortably sitting on 1-2 odds, while Andorian entertainer Threk is his nearest rival at 20-1, Iotian knockoff candidate Joresh-Onyi at 55-1 and cryogenic revival Ralph Nader at 266-1.





Why assimilation isn't necessairly a bad thing:

Quote:

10. The health care plan is flawless.
9.   No longer have to wonder what it's like to sleep standing up.
8.   Never at a loss for an opening line.
7.   Excellent Frequent Flyer miles.
6.   Having dreams of Seven of Nine with her hair down.





So that's what happened to the Klingons:

Quote:

"The way I see it," said noted Klingon warrior Kor just prior to his glorious death, "the advantage I get on the battlefield with a larger, bulging forehead and incredible hair far outweighs any drawbacks from steroid use. To me, it's worth it. A true warrior has no regrets."





Introducing the next Trek show:

Quote:

They are the va'B Five: an elite team of Klingons dedicated to extolling the simple virtues of honor, tradition and style.

Each week their mission is to transform an honor-deficient and culture-deprived human from weakling to warrior in each of their respective categories: fashion, cuisine, grooming, ritual and honorable living.





Shatner to return to Trek:

Quote:

In a continuation of the Temporal Cold War throughline, Daniels gets confused one day and instead of transporting Captain Archer to a future Starship Enterprise, he brings Captain Kirk backwards in time to the NX-01. Rather than admit his mistake, he just leaves Kirk in the 22nd century, claiming, "I meant to do that." With two captains onboard Enterprise, the inevitable wackiness ensues.


 

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2004, 11:50:32 am »
LOL, Great stuff RB.

stephen

Dash Jones

  • Guest
Re: Star Trek.com gets in the holiday spirit
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2004, 04:58:15 pm »
Ah, that was great!

But the last one...that actually might get me interested in Enterprise again if it ever happened, as well as having Archer killed off and Kirk as the main character...etc...etc...

I like the headline they had at the front of the page though...of the home page that is...

Next on
Star Trek:
Enterprise

"SHE"

More feared than Xindi-Reptilians...
More ruthless than Xindi-Insectoids...
Archer's deadliest foe revealed...


Xindi Brady!