Topic: I dont know how to put this  (Read 7273 times)

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EE

  • Guest
I dont know how to put this
« on: March 07, 2004, 10:26:40 am »
Ok.. here is my situation.

EE gets job with chicks dad. (Job is going well by the way) Well, I have been hanging out with boss's daughter quite a bit as of late. As in, almost every day for about 2 1/2 weeks. I have spent more time with her then she has with her boyfriend in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Though, if things were different I would ponder the 'date her' scene but things are not different. Her boyfriend is a good friend of a friend of mine. He seems pretty cool but can be a dick at time (30-60 minutes  late ALL the time ). I am cool with being friends and am not trying to bring the relationship past that because to do something like that is not my style. In fact, if given the ability to bring it past that I dont think I would ( I cant say I wont since I have not had that choice thrusted apon me ). She is freaking hot but still, I think I know myself pretty damned well.

Lastnight her and her boyfriend came over and hung out, all seemed well. She got here early and gave me a hug and we walked up to my apt, I had my arm around her shoulder and I think he saw that as he drive up. She ended up bailing at about 10:30pm but her boyfriend decided to kick it until 2am or later. Well, as I was falling asleep lastnight he was talking to a couple of my friend who were over and I heard my name mentioned. I then heard small snips of conversation like, 'you should talk to her' or 'ask her'. I am assuming he was asking my friends if anything was going on between me and her. Nothing is mind you but I can see why he would be curious and I dont blame him at all.

If push comes to shove I dont want to drop him like a bad habit because that is what will happen if he gets in my face, hes a cool guy and all but I still dont consider him a friend, more of a friend of a friends even though we get along.

any suggestions?

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2004, 10:50:53 am »
All you can do is play it how you see it, so I'd wait it out, you could be imagining the connections they were discussing or not...

It's best to not assume anything...

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2004, 10:52:25 am »
Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry  

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2004, 10:56:36 am »
 Talk to him. Tell him the way things are. If that doesnt work, tell him you are sucking up because she is the boss' daughter and want brownie points. Most men will believe the latter. If he's a punk he will tell her. Tell her that he saw you with your arm around her and you told him that to keep down trouble. If he's a punk dick, he will start something, which will look bad to her. If he starts something, drop him like a bag of sh*t. Tell her you didnt want trouble, but he kept pushing. That way he looks like a stupid XXXX. He's out of the way, you look like a nice guy, and she free and clear. Then you'll be in like Flynn.

Work the situation.  

My $0.02.
 
« Last Edit: March 07, 2004, 11:01:46 am by Toasty0 »

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2004, 10:57:45 am »
Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2004, 11:00:03 am »
Quote:

Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry    




I am not touching her in that way. I am like this with all my female friends and he should know this, he knows about 70% of them. I was not holding her hand or anything. What it was, was I was on the phone with a friend who lived down the street, she drove up and parked down the street so I went to meet her part way, I walked up, she gave my a hug ( side by side hug ) and I walked with her like that for about 30 feet and then walked up the stairs. nothing happened beyond that.

The Postman

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2004, 11:00:05 am »
Ignore what is going on with him. If he wants to ask you a question or confront you, he will. As to what she is doing, she will have to decide. I was in the same situation as you are now and waited to see what would happen. Eventually she dumped him and married me. He was a jerk as well  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by The Postman »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2004, 11:07:45 am »
Quote:

All you can do is play it how you see it, so I'd wait it out, you could be imagining the connections they were discussing or not...

It's best to not assume anything...  




Its quite possible I imagined the connections, just hearing my name and then ask her in garbled sentences so close together got me wondering.

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2004, 11:08:21 am »
Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2004, 11:10:40 am »
Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




naw, I would never do that. I like the guy, he is pretty cool and I would not infringe on his girl. I would do everything possible to calm any situation down.

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2004, 11:16:54 am »
Quote:

Ignore what is going on with him. If he wants to ask you a question or confront you, he will. As to what she is doing you will have to decide. I was in the same situation as you are now and waited to see what would happen. Eventually she dumped him and married me. He was a jerk as well  




I think he would come up and ask me if he really suspected something. I think it was in the back of his mind. I remember someone saying " Just ask her, no need keeping it in the back of your mind, ask her to make a desicion ". I would never try to break them up and I understand 100% where he is coming from, if my girlfriend was hanging out with a new guy I barely knew but was friends with friends I would wonder as well and I dont blame him for that. Hes not really a jerk but more like, umm... a slight ass. You dont tell your girl you will be someplace at 10pm and not show until 11:15 without calling. especially when you live down the street lol.

Ill see where things go with this. Ill take my time. If I feel he is feeling threatened ill bust a few into his kneecaps er I mean, pull him aside and talk with him. Hes a pretty down to earth guy so I dont think anything will come of it except an understanding, I am the man and he isnt...er I mean I am no threat.

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2004, 11:21:54 am »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




naw, I would never do that. I like the guy, he is pretty cool and I would not infringe on his girl. I would do everything possible to calm any situation down.  




 That was a running joke between me and Active from the Hot & Spicy  forum.    

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2004, 02:43:41 pm »
Well,what I thought I heard I did hear. I got info from my friend and that one of my other friends brought up the EE and Boss Daughter thing to her BF. He said he had alredy talked to her and asked her if he had anything to worry about and she said no and hes cool about us hanging out and stuff so hes even cooler then I thought. All is good.

 
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

Sethan

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2004, 06:15:47 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    




Not me - I always sign my work  - and send people a PM if I edit their posts.

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2004, 09:12:09 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2004, 08:32:35 am »

The mistake was already made with "I've been hanging out for with the boss's daughter quite a bit, of late."

No good can ever come at the end of that story....

 

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2004, 04:48:58 pm »
Quote:


The mistake was already made with "I've been hanging out for with the boss's daughter quite a bit, of late."

No good can ever come at the end of that story....

 




Sure it can. I can be friends with a chick, even a friggin hot one who is cool as hell because I can control myself. I know my place in the situation and I wont go beyond those bounds because I refuse to do that. I know people who would not give a damn and abuse the situation but hell,  shes a new friend of mine, shes the one who put the word in with her dad to meet me and interview me. I am not going to screw up a new job, possible career and numerous friendships by doing anything like what some people may think someone would do in that situation.

Not saying I would not want to. I just refuse to do it because its the wrong thing to do, if it ever came up, which I hope it doesnt because I hate making hard choices like that, even though I can make them.

JMM

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2004, 04:49:37 pm »
EE, first I would have a talk with her privately, and just be honest about everything, ask the same from her also. It is natural to be attracted to others (even when you are married). I understand you guys and gals are all young, and commitments are a thing of the future. Just make sure she is not a "player." As for your friend? I would talk to him after talking to her, you have not done anything bad "yet," so he has nothing to get angry about. Now what would make me angry is the snippets of conversation from my supposed "friend" and my name being mentioned several times. I would confront him about it and verify through others. If he is lying about what was being said, then I'd say "hey dude, you are a piece of trash and we are no longer friends."

Regardless of how all that works out, just concentrate on your job, that is priority one my friend.    
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by JMM »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2004, 04:59:37 pm »
Quote:

EE, first I would have a talk with her privately, and just be honest about everything, ask the same from her also. It is natural to be attracted to others (even when you are married). I understand you guys and gals are all young, and commitments are a thing of the future. Just make sure she is not a "player." As for your friend? I would talk to him after talking to her, you have not done anything bad "yet," so he has nothing to get angry about. Now what would make me angry is the snippets of conversation from my supposed "friend" and my name being mentioned several times. I would confront him about it and verify through others. If he is lying about what was being said, then I'd say "hey dude, you are a piece of trash and we are no longer friends."

Regardless of how all that works out, just concentrate on your job, that is priority one my friend.    




She is not that type of person to play anyone. Her and her BF have been together at least a year and a half, both of them are young, he is 22 or 23 and she is 19... I will be 30 in 3 months heh. Anyways my 'friend' who talked to him well, lets say something like that from him is expected. He had nearly a 12 pack to himself, 2 mixed drinks and he is somewhat jealous because he likes her and she wont have anything to do with him, add in the fact I fell into a job that makes more in 2 weeks then he is making in 1 month and he had 2 year of schooling, hes not feeling good about himself and I can handle his attitude just fine. I am a understanding person.

 I heard what happened from another friend of mine, who told me what was said. Apparently the conversation was something about how my friend was alarmed that Bosses Daughter and I were hanging out alot the last few weeks and wanted to know if her BF knew. He said he did and talked to her about it early on and she said he had nothing to worry about etc and he is cool with me and her hanging out. As I have tons of female friends, many hot, she has quite a few male friends, none hot because I dont judge males on hot or not .

I dont blame my friend for talking to her BF because they are friends and you know what, I now know that if my friend see's anything alarming from any future girlfriend he will inform me about it, which is reassuring.

I do concentrate on my job, it is my #1 priority

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2004, 05:56:18 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  




 I feel so....so....so....so violated!!!    

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #20 on: March 08, 2004, 07:04:31 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  




 I feel so....so....so....so violated!!!    




That's what you get for not using hollow points...

Oberon

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2004, 02:34:52 am »
Quote:

Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry    




Disagree.  Chick wants to give you a hug, that's her business, not her boyfriend's business.  She is not his property, and would probably be insulted if treated as if she were his property.  Guy's got a problem with that, he's probably a neanderthal or has a reason to be insecure.  That would be a problem between the girl and her boyfriend, not involving EE.  They should talk about it, preferably away from EE.  Might even strengthen their relationship, or show how they need to change or maybe move on.

Chick starts trying to pull down EE's pants, then, yeah, EE should say, "Lady, you're what I'm looking for, except for the fact that you're in a relationship," if EE feels that way.  Chivalry and professional courtesy and all that are called for when EE is asked to take an active role, if EE subscribes to those ties that bind.

Sorry for butting in.  

SL-Punisher

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2004, 04:40:17 am »
Danger will robinson Danger!

Either way this is usually a bad situation.

Women will sometimes play two men off against each other, even though it may not seem like it trust me they're quite capable of doing it. Or, she could be unhappy with her current BF and is trying to end the realtionship. In this situation rebound realtionships are never a good idea. Or she could be happy with her current realtionship and she likes you as a friend --- which rules out the other two situations. That's the problem with "Signals", they're often confusing as hell.

You also have the double whamey of it being your bosses daughter. Fathers are powerfull and fearfull things. They can see no reason, no logic, and usually won't take any crap. My dad told the first guy who dated my older sister: "You hurt my baby, I'll cut you. If it means I'm going to prison for a long long time, I'll do it because I'm a crazy mofo like that." The father only listens to his daughters point of view --- and she can do no wrong.

As far as the bf (Or ex bf is concerned) A women isn't worth bad blood between guys. Sit him down and let him know that you would never attempt to move in while they are still in a realtionship. It lets him know that you respect him, and that above all else is what's most important. Likewise, it's unwise to move in right after a break up. Let both of them sort it out and it's best to avoid the rebound situation anyway.  

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2004, 07:40:51 pm »
Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my day went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

Clark Kent

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2004, 08:27:49 pm »
Quote:

Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my dad went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 




Clearly, you need to do what you think is best, but as far as I can tell, this situation is resolved.  If she's only 19, she probably doesn't have the experience necessary to handle things once the idea of a romantic relationship enters the conversation- assuming that's not what she wants.  It sounds like you have a great friendship with this girl and at this point it's safe to assume that's all it is.  If things are not going well between her and her BF, then maybe you can start to worry about things getting out of hand, but don't worry about it otherwise.  
Just my $.02
CK

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #25 on: March 10, 2004, 05:55:29 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my dad went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 




Clearly, you need to do what you think is best, but as far as I can tell, this situation is resolved.  If she's only 19, she probably doesn't have the experience necessary to handle things once the idea of a romantic relationship enters the conversation- assuming that's not what she wants.  It sounds like you have a great friendship with this girl and at this point it's safe to assume that's all it is.  If things are not going well between her and her BF, then maybe you can start to worry about things getting out of hand, but don't worry about it otherwise.  
Just my $.02
CK  




What I think is best is to let things play themselves out naturally without me getting involved in it. So far it seems to be a pretty good friendship so far. That is something I just dont want to screw it up. Things are going decent between them. He just seems not to care sometimes which I can tell pissed her off to no end. The last 4 nights we have hung out, her boyfriend has been late, from 30-90 minutes, normally about 30ish. One time, he got pissed because she called him to find out where he was since he was 45 minutes late. She was not to happy about that and I dont see how she would put up with it, I know I would not. As much as I would like to date her, I would prefer things go well between her and her current boyfriend, he seems generally cool for the most part and you know what, I dont like being that other guy, I have done that before in the past ( first 2 girlfriend at 15 and 16 years old, I was the guy they cheated on their BF's with ) and I dont like it.

Well, I got to go to the bank now, they screwed me out of $40 somehow and its all the money I have until I get paid on the 15th so I am quite mad. Dont know how I am getting to work tomorrow lol.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #26 on: March 12, 2004, 05:55:26 pm »
So, I was at the coffee shop lastnight with that girl and she told me a story about how her BF went up to my friends that night and said " So, is EE F'ing my Girlfiend?"

Lets just say, from what I heard from her and later him was really damned funny. Everyone stumbled on their words apparrently and said " Not that I know of ".  Well, its official, hes a cool person. Anyways, I am off to a party for his birthday so I wont be on tonight. Later all

EE

  • Guest
I dont know how to put this
« Reply #27 on: March 07, 2004, 10:26:40 am »
Ok.. here is my situation.

EE gets job with chicks dad. (Job is going well by the way) Well, I have been hanging out with boss's daughter quite a bit as of late. As in, almost every day for about 2 1/2 weeks. I have spent more time with her then she has with her boyfriend in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Though, if things were different I would ponder the 'date her' scene but things are not different. Her boyfriend is a good friend of a friend of mine. He seems pretty cool but can be a dick at time (30-60 minutes  late ALL the time ). I am cool with being friends and am not trying to bring the relationship past that because to do something like that is not my style. In fact, if given the ability to bring it past that I dont think I would ( I cant say I wont since I have not had that choice thrusted apon me ). She is freaking hot but still, I think I know myself pretty damned well.

Lastnight her and her boyfriend came over and hung out, all seemed well. She got here early and gave me a hug and we walked up to my apt, I had my arm around her shoulder and I think he saw that as he drive up. She ended up bailing at about 10:30pm but her boyfriend decided to kick it until 2am or later. Well, as I was falling asleep lastnight he was talking to a couple of my friend who were over and I heard my name mentioned. I then heard small snips of conversation like, 'you should talk to her' or 'ask her'. I am assuming he was asking my friends if anything was going on between me and her. Nothing is mind you but I can see why he would be curious and I dont blame him at all.

If push comes to shove I dont want to drop him like a bad habit because that is what will happen if he gets in my face, hes a cool guy and all but I still dont consider him a friend, more of a friend of a friends even though we get along.

any suggestions?

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #28 on: March 07, 2004, 10:50:53 am »
All you can do is play it how you see it, so I'd wait it out, you could be imagining the connections they were discussing or not...

It's best to not assume anything...

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #29 on: March 07, 2004, 10:52:25 am »
Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry  

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #30 on: March 07, 2004, 10:56:36 am »
 Talk to him. Tell him the way things are. If that doesnt work, tell him you are sucking up because she is the boss' daughter and want brownie points. Most men will believe the latter. If he's a punk he will tell her. Tell her that he saw you with your arm around her and you told him that to keep down trouble. If he's a punk dick, he will start something, which will look bad to her. If he starts something, drop him like a bag of sh*t. Tell her you didnt want trouble, but he kept pushing. That way he looks like a stupid XXXX. He's out of the way, you look like a nice guy, and she free and clear. Then you'll be in like Flynn.

Work the situation.  

My $0.02.
 
« Last Edit: March 07, 2004, 11:01:46 am by Toasty0 »

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #31 on: March 07, 2004, 10:57:45 am »
Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #32 on: March 07, 2004, 11:00:03 am »
Quote:

Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry    




I am not touching her in that way. I am like this with all my female friends and he should know this, he knows about 70% of them. I was not holding her hand or anything. What it was, was I was on the phone with a friend who lived down the street, she drove up and parked down the street so I went to meet her part way, I walked up, she gave my a hug ( side by side hug ) and I walked with her like that for about 30 feet and then walked up the stairs. nothing happened beyond that.

The Postman

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #33 on: March 07, 2004, 11:00:05 am »
Ignore what is going on with him. If he wants to ask you a question or confront you, he will. As to what she is doing, she will have to decide. I was in the same situation as you are now and waited to see what would happen. Eventually she dumped him and married me. He was a jerk as well  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by The Postman »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #34 on: March 07, 2004, 11:07:45 am »
Quote:

All you can do is play it how you see it, so I'd wait it out, you could be imagining the connections they were discussing or not...

It's best to not assume anything...  




Its quite possible I imagined the connections, just hearing my name and then ask her in garbled sentences so close together got me wondering.

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #35 on: March 07, 2004, 11:08:21 am »
Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #36 on: March 07, 2004, 11:10:40 am »
Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




naw, I would never do that. I like the guy, he is pretty cool and I would not infringe on his girl. I would do everything possible to calm any situation down.

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #37 on: March 07, 2004, 11:16:54 am »
Quote:

Ignore what is going on with him. If he wants to ask you a question or confront you, he will. As to what she is doing you will have to decide. I was in the same situation as you are now and waited to see what would happen. Eventually she dumped him and married me. He was a jerk as well  




I think he would come up and ask me if he really suspected something. I think it was in the back of his mind. I remember someone saying " Just ask her, no need keeping it in the back of your mind, ask her to make a desicion ". I would never try to break them up and I understand 100% where he is coming from, if my girlfriend was hanging out with a new guy I barely knew but was friends with friends I would wonder as well and I dont blame him for that. Hes not really a jerk but more like, umm... a slight ass. You dont tell your girl you will be someplace at 10pm and not show until 11:15 without calling. especially when you live down the street lol.

Ill see where things go with this. Ill take my time. If I feel he is feeling threatened ill bust a few into his kneecaps er I mean, pull him aside and talk with him. Hes a pretty down to earth guy so I dont think anything will come of it except an understanding, I am the man and he isnt...er I mean I am no threat.

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #38 on: March 07, 2004, 11:21:54 am »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




naw, I would never do that. I like the guy, he is pretty cool and I would not infringe on his girl. I would do everything possible to calm any situation down.  




 That was a running joke between me and Active from the Hot & Spicy  forum.    

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #39 on: March 07, 2004, 02:43:41 pm »
Well,what I thought I heard I did hear. I got info from my friend and that one of my other friends brought up the EE and Boss Daughter thing to her BF. He said he had alredy talked to her and asked her if he had anything to worry about and she said no and hes cool about us hanging out and stuff so hes even cooler then I thought. All is good.

 
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

Sethan

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #40 on: March 07, 2004, 06:15:47 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    




Not me - I always sign my work  - and send people a PM if I edit their posts.

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #41 on: March 07, 2004, 09:12:09 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #42 on: March 08, 2004, 08:32:35 am »

The mistake was already made with "I've been hanging out for with the boss's daughter quite a bit, of late."

No good can ever come at the end of that story....

 

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #43 on: March 08, 2004, 04:48:58 pm »
Quote:


The mistake was already made with "I've been hanging out for with the boss's daughter quite a bit, of late."

No good can ever come at the end of that story....

 




Sure it can. I can be friends with a chick, even a friggin hot one who is cool as hell because I can control myself. I know my place in the situation and I wont go beyond those bounds because I refuse to do that. I know people who would not give a damn and abuse the situation but hell,  shes a new friend of mine, shes the one who put the word in with her dad to meet me and interview me. I am not going to screw up a new job, possible career and numerous friendships by doing anything like what some people may think someone would do in that situation.

Not saying I would not want to. I just refuse to do it because its the wrong thing to do, if it ever came up, which I hope it doesnt because I hate making hard choices like that, even though I can make them.

JMM

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #44 on: March 08, 2004, 04:49:37 pm »
EE, first I would have a talk with her privately, and just be honest about everything, ask the same from her also. It is natural to be attracted to others (even when you are married). I understand you guys and gals are all young, and commitments are a thing of the future. Just make sure she is not a "player." As for your friend? I would talk to him after talking to her, you have not done anything bad "yet," so he has nothing to get angry about. Now what would make me angry is the snippets of conversation from my supposed "friend" and my name being mentioned several times. I would confront him about it and verify through others. If he is lying about what was being said, then I'd say "hey dude, you are a piece of trash and we are no longer friends."

Regardless of how all that works out, just concentrate on your job, that is priority one my friend.    
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by JMM »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #45 on: March 08, 2004, 04:59:37 pm »
Quote:

EE, first I would have a talk with her privately, and just be honest about everything, ask the same from her also. It is natural to be attracted to others (even when you are married). I understand you guys and gals are all young, and commitments are a thing of the future. Just make sure she is not a "player." As for your friend? I would talk to him after talking to her, you have not done anything bad "yet," so he has nothing to get angry about. Now what would make me angry is the snippets of conversation from my supposed "friend" and my name being mentioned several times. I would confront him about it and verify through others. If he is lying about what was being said, then I'd say "hey dude, you are a piece of trash and we are no longer friends."

Regardless of how all that works out, just concentrate on your job, that is priority one my friend.    




She is not that type of person to play anyone. Her and her BF have been together at least a year and a half, both of them are young, he is 22 or 23 and she is 19... I will be 30 in 3 months heh. Anyways my 'friend' who talked to him well, lets say something like that from him is expected. He had nearly a 12 pack to himself, 2 mixed drinks and he is somewhat jealous because he likes her and she wont have anything to do with him, add in the fact I fell into a job that makes more in 2 weeks then he is making in 1 month and he had 2 year of schooling, hes not feeling good about himself and I can handle his attitude just fine. I am a understanding person.

 I heard what happened from another friend of mine, who told me what was said. Apparently the conversation was something about how my friend was alarmed that Bosses Daughter and I were hanging out alot the last few weeks and wanted to know if her BF knew. He said he did and talked to her about it early on and she said he had nothing to worry about etc and he is cool with me and her hanging out. As I have tons of female friends, many hot, she has quite a few male friends, none hot because I dont judge males on hot or not .

I dont blame my friend for talking to her BF because they are friends and you know what, I now know that if my friend see's anything alarming from any future girlfriend he will inform me about it, which is reassuring.

I do concentrate on my job, it is my #1 priority

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #46 on: March 08, 2004, 05:56:18 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  




 I feel so....so....so....so violated!!!    

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #47 on: March 08, 2004, 07:04:31 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  




 I feel so....so....so....so violated!!!    




That's what you get for not using hollow points...

Oberon

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #48 on: March 09, 2004, 02:34:52 am »
Quote:

Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry    




Disagree.  Chick wants to give you a hug, that's her business, not her boyfriend's business.  She is not his property, and would probably be insulted if treated as if she were his property.  Guy's got a problem with that, he's probably a neanderthal or has a reason to be insecure.  That would be a problem between the girl and her boyfriend, not involving EE.  They should talk about it, preferably away from EE.  Might even strengthen their relationship, or show how they need to change or maybe move on.

Chick starts trying to pull down EE's pants, then, yeah, EE should say, "Lady, you're what I'm looking for, except for the fact that you're in a relationship," if EE feels that way.  Chivalry and professional courtesy and all that are called for when EE is asked to take an active role, if EE subscribes to those ties that bind.

Sorry for butting in.  

SL-Punisher

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #49 on: March 09, 2004, 04:40:17 am »
Danger will robinson Danger!

Either way this is usually a bad situation.

Women will sometimes play two men off against each other, even though it may not seem like it trust me they're quite capable of doing it. Or, she could be unhappy with her current BF and is trying to end the realtionship. In this situation rebound realtionships are never a good idea. Or she could be happy with her current realtionship and she likes you as a friend --- which rules out the other two situations. That's the problem with "Signals", they're often confusing as hell.

You also have the double whamey of it being your bosses daughter. Fathers are powerfull and fearfull things. They can see no reason, no logic, and usually won't take any crap. My dad told the first guy who dated my older sister: "You hurt my baby, I'll cut you. If it means I'm going to prison for a long long time, I'll do it because I'm a crazy mofo like that." The father only listens to his daughters point of view --- and she can do no wrong.

As far as the bf (Or ex bf is concerned) A women isn't worth bad blood between guys. Sit him down and let him know that you would never attempt to move in while they are still in a realtionship. It lets him know that you respect him, and that above all else is what's most important. Likewise, it's unwise to move in right after a break up. Let both of them sort it out and it's best to avoid the rebound situation anyway.  

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #50 on: March 09, 2004, 07:40:51 pm »
Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my day went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

Clark Kent

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #51 on: March 09, 2004, 08:27:49 pm »
Quote:

Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my dad went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 




Clearly, you need to do what you think is best, but as far as I can tell, this situation is resolved.  If she's only 19, she probably doesn't have the experience necessary to handle things once the idea of a romantic relationship enters the conversation- assuming that's not what she wants.  It sounds like you have a great friendship with this girl and at this point it's safe to assume that's all it is.  If things are not going well between her and her BF, then maybe you can start to worry about things getting out of hand, but don't worry about it otherwise.  
Just my $.02
CK

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #52 on: March 10, 2004, 05:55:29 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my dad went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 




Clearly, you need to do what you think is best, but as far as I can tell, this situation is resolved.  If she's only 19, she probably doesn't have the experience necessary to handle things once the idea of a romantic relationship enters the conversation- assuming that's not what she wants.  It sounds like you have a great friendship with this girl and at this point it's safe to assume that's all it is.  If things are not going well between her and her BF, then maybe you can start to worry about things getting out of hand, but don't worry about it otherwise.  
Just my $.02
CK  




What I think is best is to let things play themselves out naturally without me getting involved in it. So far it seems to be a pretty good friendship so far. That is something I just dont want to screw it up. Things are going decent between them. He just seems not to care sometimes which I can tell pissed her off to no end. The last 4 nights we have hung out, her boyfriend has been late, from 30-90 minutes, normally about 30ish. One time, he got pissed because she called him to find out where he was since he was 45 minutes late. She was not to happy about that and I dont see how she would put up with it, I know I would not. As much as I would like to date her, I would prefer things go well between her and her current boyfriend, he seems generally cool for the most part and you know what, I dont like being that other guy, I have done that before in the past ( first 2 girlfriend at 15 and 16 years old, I was the guy they cheated on their BF's with ) and I dont like it.

Well, I got to go to the bank now, they screwed me out of $40 somehow and its all the money I have until I get paid on the 15th so I am quite mad. Dont know how I am getting to work tomorrow lol.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #53 on: March 12, 2004, 05:55:26 pm »
So, I was at the coffee shop lastnight with that girl and she told me a story about how her BF went up to my friends that night and said " So, is EE F'ing my Girlfiend?"

Lets just say, from what I heard from her and later him was really damned funny. Everyone stumbled on their words apparrently and said " Not that I know of ".  Well, its official, hes a cool person. Anyways, I am off to a party for his birthday so I wont be on tonight. Later all

EE

  • Guest
I dont know how to put this
« Reply #54 on: March 07, 2004, 10:26:40 am »
Ok.. here is my situation.

EE gets job with chicks dad. (Job is going well by the way) Well, I have been hanging out with boss's daughter quite a bit as of late. As in, almost every day for about 2 1/2 weeks. I have spent more time with her then she has with her boyfriend in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Though, if things were different I would ponder the 'date her' scene but things are not different. Her boyfriend is a good friend of a friend of mine. He seems pretty cool but can be a dick at time (30-60 minutes  late ALL the time ). I am cool with being friends and am not trying to bring the relationship past that because to do something like that is not my style. In fact, if given the ability to bring it past that I dont think I would ( I cant say I wont since I have not had that choice thrusted apon me ). She is freaking hot but still, I think I know myself pretty damned well.

Lastnight her and her boyfriend came over and hung out, all seemed well. She got here early and gave me a hug and we walked up to my apt, I had my arm around her shoulder and I think he saw that as he drive up. She ended up bailing at about 10:30pm but her boyfriend decided to kick it until 2am or later. Well, as I was falling asleep lastnight he was talking to a couple of my friend who were over and I heard my name mentioned. I then heard small snips of conversation like, 'you should talk to her' or 'ask her'. I am assuming he was asking my friends if anything was going on between me and her. Nothing is mind you but I can see why he would be curious and I dont blame him at all.

If push comes to shove I dont want to drop him like a bad habit because that is what will happen if he gets in my face, hes a cool guy and all but I still dont consider him a friend, more of a friend of a friends even though we get along.

any suggestions?

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #55 on: March 07, 2004, 10:50:53 am »
All you can do is play it how you see it, so I'd wait it out, you could be imagining the connections they were discussing or not...

It's best to not assume anything...

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #56 on: March 07, 2004, 10:52:25 am »
Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry  

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #57 on: March 07, 2004, 10:56:36 am »
 Talk to him. Tell him the way things are. If that doesnt work, tell him you are sucking up because she is the boss' daughter and want brownie points. Most men will believe the latter. If he's a punk he will tell her. Tell her that he saw you with your arm around her and you told him that to keep down trouble. If he's a punk dick, he will start something, which will look bad to her. If he starts something, drop him like a bag of sh*t. Tell her you didnt want trouble, but he kept pushing. That way he looks like a stupid XXXX. He's out of the way, you look like a nice guy, and she free and clear. Then you'll be in like Flynn.

Work the situation.  

My $0.02.
 
« Last Edit: March 07, 2004, 11:01:46 am by Toasty0 »

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #58 on: March 07, 2004, 10:57:45 am »
Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #59 on: March 07, 2004, 11:00:03 am »
Quote:

Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry    




I am not touching her in that way. I am like this with all my female friends and he should know this, he knows about 70% of them. I was not holding her hand or anything. What it was, was I was on the phone with a friend who lived down the street, she drove up and parked down the street so I went to meet her part way, I walked up, she gave my a hug ( side by side hug ) and I walked with her like that for about 30 feet and then walked up the stairs. nothing happened beyond that.

The Postman

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #60 on: March 07, 2004, 11:00:05 am »
Ignore what is going on with him. If he wants to ask you a question or confront you, he will. As to what she is doing, she will have to decide. I was in the same situation as you are now and waited to see what would happen. Eventually she dumped him and married me. He was a jerk as well  
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by The Postman »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #61 on: March 07, 2004, 11:07:45 am »
Quote:

All you can do is play it how you see it, so I'd wait it out, you could be imagining the connections they were discussing or not...

It's best to not assume anything...  




Its quite possible I imagined the connections, just hearing my name and then ask her in garbled sentences so close together got me wondering.

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #62 on: March 07, 2004, 11:08:21 am »
Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #63 on: March 07, 2004, 11:10:40 am »
Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




naw, I would never do that. I like the guy, he is pretty cool and I would not infringe on his girl. I would do everything possible to calm any situation down.

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #64 on: March 07, 2004, 11:16:54 am »
Quote:

Ignore what is going on with him. If he wants to ask you a question or confront you, he will. As to what she is doing you will have to decide. I was in the same situation as you are now and waited to see what would happen. Eventually she dumped him and married me. He was a jerk as well  




I think he would come up and ask me if he really suspected something. I think it was in the back of his mind. I remember someone saying " Just ask her, no need keeping it in the back of your mind, ask her to make a desicion ". I would never try to break them up and I understand 100% where he is coming from, if my girlfriend was hanging out with a new guy I barely knew but was friends with friends I would wonder as well and I dont blame him for that. Hes not really a jerk but more like, umm... a slight ass. You dont tell your girl you will be someplace at 10pm and not show until 11:15 without calling. especially when you live down the street lol.

Ill see where things go with this. Ill take my time. If I feel he is feeling threatened ill bust a few into his kneecaps er I mean, pull him aside and talk with him. Hes a pretty down to earth guy so I dont think anything will come of it except an understanding, I am the man and he isnt...er I mean I am no threat.

TheShadow

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #65 on: March 07, 2004, 11:21:54 am »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




naw, I would never do that. I like the guy, he is pretty cool and I would not infringe on his girl. I would do everything possible to calm any situation down.  




 That was a running joke between me and Active from the Hot & Spicy  forum.    

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #66 on: March 07, 2004, 02:43:41 pm »
Well,what I thought I heard I did hear. I got info from my friend and that one of my other friends brought up the EE and Boss Daughter thing to her BF. He said he had alredy talked to her and asked her if he had anything to worry about and she said no and hes cool about us hanging out and stuff so hes even cooler then I thought. All is good.

 
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

Sethan

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #67 on: March 07, 2004, 06:15:47 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    




Not me - I always sign my work  - and send people a PM if I edit their posts.

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #68 on: March 07, 2004, 09:12:09 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #69 on: March 08, 2004, 08:32:35 am »

The mistake was already made with "I've been hanging out for with the boss's daughter quite a bit, of late."

No good can ever come at the end of that story....

 

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #70 on: March 08, 2004, 04:48:58 pm »
Quote:


The mistake was already made with "I've been hanging out for with the boss's daughter quite a bit, of late."

No good can ever come at the end of that story....

 




Sure it can. I can be friends with a chick, even a friggin hot one who is cool as hell because I can control myself. I know my place in the situation and I wont go beyond those bounds because I refuse to do that. I know people who would not give a damn and abuse the situation but hell,  shes a new friend of mine, shes the one who put the word in with her dad to meet me and interview me. I am not going to screw up a new job, possible career and numerous friendships by doing anything like what some people may think someone would do in that situation.

Not saying I would not want to. I just refuse to do it because its the wrong thing to do, if it ever came up, which I hope it doesnt because I hate making hard choices like that, even though I can make them.

JMM

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #71 on: March 08, 2004, 04:49:37 pm »
EE, first I would have a talk with her privately, and just be honest about everything, ask the same from her also. It is natural to be attracted to others (even when you are married). I understand you guys and gals are all young, and commitments are a thing of the future. Just make sure she is not a "player." As for your friend? I would talk to him after talking to her, you have not done anything bad "yet," so he has nothing to get angry about. Now what would make me angry is the snippets of conversation from my supposed "friend" and my name being mentioned several times. I would confront him about it and verify through others. If he is lying about what was being said, then I'd say "hey dude, you are a piece of trash and we are no longer friends."

Regardless of how all that works out, just concentrate on your job, that is priority one my friend.    
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by JMM »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #72 on: March 08, 2004, 04:59:37 pm »
Quote:

EE, first I would have a talk with her privately, and just be honest about everything, ask the same from her also. It is natural to be attracted to others (even when you are married). I understand you guys and gals are all young, and commitments are a thing of the future. Just make sure she is not a "player." As for your friend? I would talk to him after talking to her, you have not done anything bad "yet," so he has nothing to get angry about. Now what would make me angry is the snippets of conversation from my supposed "friend" and my name being mentioned several times. I would confront him about it and verify through others. If he is lying about what was being said, then I'd say "hey dude, you are a piece of trash and we are no longer friends."

Regardless of how all that works out, just concentrate on your job, that is priority one my friend.    




She is not that type of person to play anyone. Her and her BF have been together at least a year and a half, both of them are young, he is 22 or 23 and she is 19... I will be 30 in 3 months heh. Anyways my 'friend' who talked to him well, lets say something like that from him is expected. He had nearly a 12 pack to himself, 2 mixed drinks and he is somewhat jealous because he likes her and she wont have anything to do with him, add in the fact I fell into a job that makes more in 2 weeks then he is making in 1 month and he had 2 year of schooling, hes not feeling good about himself and I can handle his attitude just fine. I am a understanding person.

 I heard what happened from another friend of mine, who told me what was said. Apparently the conversation was something about how my friend was alarmed that Bosses Daughter and I were hanging out alot the last few weeks and wanted to know if her BF knew. He said he did and talked to her about it early on and she said he had nothing to worry about etc and he is cool with me and her hanging out. As I have tons of female friends, many hot, she has quite a few male friends, none hot because I dont judge males on hot or not .

I dont blame my friend for talking to her BF because they are friends and you know what, I now know that if my friend see's anything alarming from any future girlfriend he will inform me about it, which is reassuring.

I do concentrate on my job, it is my #1 priority

TheShadow

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Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #73 on: March 08, 2004, 05:56:18 pm »
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Quote:

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Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  




 I feel so....so....so....so violated!!!    

ActiveX

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #74 on: March 08, 2004, 07:04:31 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

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Sure you arent one to aim at kneecaps?  




 Not in a situation like that!  

Hey, someone
 XXXX'ed my post! Sethan was that you???    



Nope. Guess again.  




 I feel so....so....so....so violated!!!    




That's what you get for not using hollow points...

Oberon

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #75 on: March 09, 2004, 02:34:52 am »
Quote:

Yeah, and don't take this wrong, but I suggest you keep your paws of his girlfriend until she is not his girlfriend no matter how "chummy" you two are. It just ain't cool and you know it, bro.

Best,
Jerry    




Disagree.  Chick wants to give you a hug, that's her business, not her boyfriend's business.  She is not his property, and would probably be insulted if treated as if she were his property.  Guy's got a problem with that, he's probably a neanderthal or has a reason to be insecure.  That would be a problem between the girl and her boyfriend, not involving EE.  They should talk about it, preferably away from EE.  Might even strengthen their relationship, or show how they need to change or maybe move on.

Chick starts trying to pull down EE's pants, then, yeah, EE should say, "Lady, you're what I'm looking for, except for the fact that you're in a relationship," if EE feels that way.  Chivalry and professional courtesy and all that are called for when EE is asked to take an active role, if EE subscribes to those ties that bind.

Sorry for butting in.  

SL-Punisher

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Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #76 on: March 09, 2004, 04:40:17 am »
Danger will robinson Danger!

Either way this is usually a bad situation.

Women will sometimes play two men off against each other, even though it may not seem like it trust me they're quite capable of doing it. Or, she could be unhappy with her current BF and is trying to end the realtionship. In this situation rebound realtionships are never a good idea. Or she could be happy with her current realtionship and she likes you as a friend --- which rules out the other two situations. That's the problem with "Signals", they're often confusing as hell.

You also have the double whamey of it being your bosses daughter. Fathers are powerfull and fearfull things. They can see no reason, no logic, and usually won't take any crap. My dad told the first guy who dated my older sister: "You hurt my baby, I'll cut you. If it means I'm going to prison for a long long time, I'll do it because I'm a crazy mofo like that." The father only listens to his daughters point of view --- and she can do no wrong.

As far as the bf (Or ex bf is concerned) A women isn't worth bad blood between guys. Sit him down and let him know that you would never attempt to move in while they are still in a realtionship. It lets him know that you respect him, and that above all else is what's most important. Likewise, it's unwise to move in right after a break up. Let both of them sort it out and it's best to avoid the rebound situation anyway.  

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #77 on: March 09, 2004, 07:40:51 pm »
Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my day went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

Clark Kent

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Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #78 on: March 09, 2004, 08:27:49 pm »
Quote:

Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my dad went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 




Clearly, you need to do what you think is best, but as far as I can tell, this situation is resolved.  If she's only 19, she probably doesn't have the experience necessary to handle things once the idea of a romantic relationship enters the conversation- assuming that's not what she wants.  It sounds like you have a great friendship with this girl and at this point it's safe to assume that's all it is.  If things are not going well between her and her BF, then maybe you can start to worry about things getting out of hand, but don't worry about it otherwise.  
Just my $.02
CK

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #79 on: March 10, 2004, 05:55:29 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

Well, I think I am going to find out where things lie tonight, depends on my mood. I may wait until tomorrow because I can talk to her with a little more privacy since I am working at a church tomorrow which is right next to her house. I think I already know where I stand in the whole situation which is just a friend but something she brought up the other day kinda threw me off a bit. She said she had sent me a E-Mail about 3 days ago and asked if I had recieved it, I told her 'no' and she said she would resend it, she did not send it. I think she said it was some kind of E-Mail profile thing, where you answer things truthfully etc. Now, I could not understand fully what was said because my cell or hers was breaking up a bit but she said something about it having 'describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend' in it and I did not catch the last part, I guess I will find out soon.

[Phone call]

Well, that was her. Going to hang out with her at the local Coffee Shop for a while. She called to see how my dad went at work heh. Tomorrow, as I said I work next to her house, she asked me where I am working tomorrow and I told her so she told me to kick it at her place after work (3pm) until she gets off work (5pm) so we can hang out.  I think I will talk to her then. Anyways, I need to get ready for the coffee shop so I will let you all go. Talk at you all tomorrow.
 




Clearly, you need to do what you think is best, but as far as I can tell, this situation is resolved.  If she's only 19, she probably doesn't have the experience necessary to handle things once the idea of a romantic relationship enters the conversation- assuming that's not what she wants.  It sounds like you have a great friendship with this girl and at this point it's safe to assume that's all it is.  If things are not going well between her and her BF, then maybe you can start to worry about things getting out of hand, but don't worry about it otherwise.  
Just my $.02
CK  




What I think is best is to let things play themselves out naturally without me getting involved in it. So far it seems to be a pretty good friendship so far. That is something I just dont want to screw it up. Things are going decent between them. He just seems not to care sometimes which I can tell pissed her off to no end. The last 4 nights we have hung out, her boyfriend has been late, from 30-90 minutes, normally about 30ish. One time, he got pissed because she called him to find out where he was since he was 45 minutes late. She was not to happy about that and I dont see how she would put up with it, I know I would not. As much as I would like to date her, I would prefer things go well between her and her current boyfriend, he seems generally cool for the most part and you know what, I dont like being that other guy, I have done that before in the past ( first 2 girlfriend at 15 and 16 years old, I was the guy they cheated on their BF's with ) and I dont like it.

Well, I got to go to the bank now, they screwed me out of $40 somehow and its all the money I have until I get paid on the 15th so I am quite mad. Dont know how I am getting to work tomorrow lol.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by EE »

EE

  • Guest
Re: I dont know how to put this
« Reply #80 on: March 12, 2004, 05:55:26 pm »
So, I was at the coffee shop lastnight with that girl and she told me a story about how her BF went up to my friends that night and said " So, is EE F'ing my Girlfiend?"

Lets just say, from what I heard from her and later him was really damned funny. Everyone stumbled on their words apparrently and said " Not that I know of ".  Well, its official, hes a cool person. Anyways, I am off to a party for his birthday so I wont be on tonight. Later all