How do I know?
Case in point:
to protect the guilty names and dates (though none given) have been changed
My family is hustling of to our respective destinations one morning and I noticed that my youngest son had left his cereal bowl on the table with just enough milk to sour quite nicely in the morning sun. I told him he needed to rinse it and put it in the dishwasher or it will stink to high heaven by the afternoon.
He answered, "ok" and then went on to tell me that it could never stink as bad as (insert his big bothers name)'s farts followed by a nose hair curling description of what it was like to be trapped next to him in the car when he lets one lose.
I carried on with my morning rush and off we all went.
On our arrival home, with my youngest and his two friends in tow, we found the once cereal bowl now biohazard was still on the table and was indeed pungent. Pointing it out to my son I told him to take care of it immediately.
"But Mom, it stinks!!!"
"Yes, I know. Clean it out now."
his friends giggle and while he was washing it they begin what became a 20-minute conversation about things that stink and yes...farts.
Listing who has the stickiest farts.
Note: I didn't make that list.
Who farts the most.
Note: Again not on that list.
And who can make the loudest fake fart noises.
Note:yes yes...I have older brothers ok..
Life moves on and the day ends.
The next morning we are off to our same hustle and low and be hold I find my youngest's cereal bowl left out again. Another reminder was given to my son which led to his asking me to prove why I rated making the loudest fart noise maker list as I looked for my keys. Just who does hide those in the middle of the night anyway?
Now what do you guess I found when I arrived home that afternoon? Yep, an all-new bio-chemical experiments. Even the cats stayed away from this one. I made the firm request for my son to clean this up and added another chore to go with it. After spending a good deal of time telling me that he is going to get sick from the smell of the spoiled milk he cleaned his mess and vacuumed the living room as well.
So...a new day begins, we are all off and running, and yes I was looking for my keys, when I noticed (to my shock and horror) my son had left his cereal bowl on the table, again. I shouted upstairs for my son to clear his bowl and told him that he would be grounded that afternoon if I found it still there when I got home.
Now, I could go on for a while and give details of a long stressful day but I will instead cut right to the chase. Yes, the bowl was there when I got home. The crowd gasps in surprise. My son had earned himself a grounding. After clearing the bowl he tried desperately to convince me that he would never, ever, ever do it again if I would just give him another chance. To which I responded, "Ok sweetie, you may have another chance.... tomorrow, now go think about how successful you will be with it in your room". Ohhhhhh the indignities, the pain, the outrage bestowed upon my poor son! Victimized by that rank, detestable bowl of cereal. Where is the ACLU when you need them????
The day ends, thankfully, and the new day begins. A new beginning has arrived for my son. A life now absent of the forgotten cereal bowl traumas can begin this very day! As I am gathering the tools I will need to conquer the world I hear my son rummaging in the cupboard for the cereal. There was a long pause in the commotion and then he appears around the corner.
"Mom, may I have eggs for breakfast?"
sigh
Topic: Children have brain damage... (Read 6965 times)