Topic: Children have brain damage... (Read 7068 times)

Taldren_Admin · « **on:** March 05, 2004, 08:30:34 pm »

How do I know?
Case in point:
to protect the guilty names and dates (though none given) have been changed

My family is hustling of to our respective destinations one morning and I noticed that my youngest son had left his cereal bowl on the table with just enough milk to sour quite nicely in the morning sun. I told him he needed to rinse it and put it in the dishwasher or it will stink to high heaven by the afternoon.
He answered, "ok" and then went on to tell me that it could never stink as bad as (insert his big bothers name)'s farts followed by a nose hair curling description of what it was like to be trapped next to him in the car when he lets one lose.

I carried on with my morning rush and off we all went.

On our arrival home, with my youngest and his two friends in tow, we found the once cereal bowl now biohazard was still on the table and was indeed pungent. Pointing it out to my son I told him to take care of it immediately.
"But Mom, it stinks!!!"
"Yes, I know. Clean it out now."
his friends giggle and while he was washing it they begin what became a 20-minute conversation about things that stink and yes...farts.
Listing who has the stickiest farts.
Note: I didn't make that list.
Who farts the most.
Note: Again not on that list.
And who can make the loudest fake fart noises.
Note:yes yes...I have older brothers ok..

Life moves on and the day ends.

The next morning we are off to our same hustle and low and be hold I find my youngest's cereal bowl left out again. Another reminder was given to my son which led to his asking me to prove why I rated making the loudest fart noise maker list as I looked for my keys. Just who does hide those in the middle of the night anyway?

Now what do you guess I found when I arrived home that afternoon? Yep, an all-new bio-chemical experiments. Even the cats stayed away from this one. I made the firm request for my son to clean this up and added another chore to go with it. After spending a good deal of time telling me that he is going to get sick from the smell of the spoiled milk he cleaned his mess and vacuumed the living room as well.

So...a new day begins, we are all off and running, and yes I was looking for my keys, when I noticed (to my shock and horror) my son had left his cereal bowl on the table, again. I shouted upstairs for my son to clear his bowl and told him that he would be grounded that afternoon if I found it still there when I got home.

Now, I could go on for a while and give details of a long stressful day but I will instead cut right to the chase. Yes, the bowl was there when I got home. The crowd gasps in surprise. My son had earned himself a grounding. After clearing the bowl he tried desperately to convince me that he would never, ever, ever do it again if I would just give him another chance. To which I responded, "Ok sweetie, you may have another chance.... tomorrow, now go think about how successful you will be with it in your room". Ohhhhhh the indignities, the pain, the outrage bestowed upon my poor son! Victimized by that rank, detestable bowl of cereal. Where is the ACLU when you need them????

The day ends, thankfully, and the new day begins. A new beginning has arrived for my son. A life now absent of the forgotten cereal bowl traumas can begin this very day! As I am gathering the tools I will need to conquer the world I hear my son rummaging in the cupboard for the cereal. There was a long pause in the commotion and then he appears around the corner.
"Mom, may I have eggs for breakfast?"

sigh

Toasty0 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 05, 2004, 09:12:16 pm »

smart boy.

Death_Merchant · « **Reply #2 on:** March 05, 2004, 09:19:59 pm »

Yup.

I believe Bill Cosby calls it dain bamage.
For your iTunes collection: http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playlistId=293308&selectedItemId=293298

For my son, it's untied shoes.
.
.
He hasn't thought of sandals yet.....

although to his credit: He's learned to dry himself BEFORE putting on his pajamas. Then they don't stick....

Taldren_Admin · « **Reply #3 on:** March 05, 2004, 09:22:50 pm »

Quote:

although to his credit: He's learned to dry himself BEFORE putting on his pajamas. Then they don't stick....

you're supposed to do that?

*snicker snicker*

E_Look · « **Reply #5 on:** March 06, 2004, 12:56:04 am »

Ahhhh, kids have some kind of fascination with farts... must be some kind of low level chronic brain fart. It DOES seem that's all they talk about- farts or things that approximate them.

Ann, when they get to high school or college, or even beyond, it doesn't change! You may not be there amongst them, but he and his buddies will still be talking, laughing about farts whilst belching, and yes, farting, over a beer.

IKV Nemesis D7L · « **Reply #6 on:** March 06, 2004, 05:03:18 am »

My theory is that children are born drunk. It then takes years to sober up (and some never do it seems

)

KRolling · « **Reply #7 on:** March 06, 2004, 05:14:39 am »

Fascination with farts is not a gender thing, I'm sad to say.

My daughter, who is almost eight, gets a kick out of them.

I guess when you don't have control over something you might as well laugh about it, eh?

KATChuutRitt · « **Reply #8 on:** March 06, 2004, 09:03:42 am »

Sirgod · « **Reply #9 on:** March 06, 2004, 10:01:24 am »

LOL, ain't that the truth.

Stephen using the word Ain't.

ActiveX · « **Reply #11 on:** March 06, 2004, 02:51:01 pm »

Dash Jones · « **Reply #12 on:** March 06, 2004, 04:40:16 pm »

Ahhh,

the Heathens...

I feel for your children.

I know perfectly why he didn't clean the cereal bowl out...he had other things to do! Plus, I can never understand why they tell us it will take mere seconds to do it...

If it was so quick, why can't they do it.

IF time is precious then since the parents have lived longer than the children then time isn't worth as much to them as it is a child.

A second out of a 40 year life is less of a percentage of that life than it is out of a 17 (or younger) year old life. My seconds are worth almost two times as much as my parents if not more!

Save the Children!

I prefer to think any problems one might call it as intelligent time management. children see that most times our parents can do it themselves, and have more important things to do, so we do other things (than taking out the trash and other such inane chores better left to wiser heads and much stronger physiques).

I hear it grows worse as the children grow older, and that it culminates in the late teens.

Sirgod · « **Reply #13 on:** March 06, 2004, 08:36:42 pm »

Wishes Dash Lived With Sirgod for oh just a second or two.

Stephen

Maxillius · « **Reply #14 on:** March 08, 2004, 07:41:19 pm »

RUN DASH, RUN!!!

SL-Punisher · « **Reply #15 on:** March 08, 2004, 08:16:49 pm »

That woulda been a whoopin in my house

The phrase "When your father gets home" still stikes instinctual fear in me.

Elvis · « **Reply #16 on:** March 08, 2004, 09:44:05 pm »

The nemisis in our house isn't milk, its oatmeal. That stuff is like super glue after it hardens, and the worse part is it doesn't matter if the kids actually manage tp place the bowl in the sink, they also have to rinse it it out. It will harden just as well in the sink as it will on the table.

Taldren_Admin · « **Reply #17 on:** March 09, 2004, 03:54:35 pm »

Late Breeaking news:

We have moved on to burps

Just thought I would share...

News:

Topic: Children have brain damage... (Read 7068 times) var addthis_config = {"data_track_clickback":true};

Taldren_Admin

Toasty0

Death_Merchant

Taldren_Admin

Sirgod

E_Look

IKV Nemesis D7L

KRolling

KATChuutRitt

Sirgod

Maxillius

ActiveX

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Maxillius

SL-Punisher

Elvis

Taldren_Admin

Toasty0

AlienLXIX

Topic: Children have brain damage... (Read 7068 times)