What UPN needs to do with Enterprise is swap out Porthos and swap in Triumph the Insult Dog.
http://www.triumphtheinsultcomicdog.com/That dog could do the weather report on the Xindi homeworld and insult them to death.
Then Triumph could insult all the Star Wars fans in another segment that is followed by some T'Pol dancing in some skanky outfit for the "I Keed" video.
Or how about we dump the dogs and bring in the frogs.
*grabs cigar*
Karnak the Insult Frog.
*dreaming of $$$$$$$*
Errr........well, maybe not...
Dogs will just have to do.