Topic: The mysteries of life explained. :)

[msnevil]

Farts are a daily function of the human body. They come in various shapes and sizes, odors and intensities, sounds and potencies. However, the study of fart types and their affects is a limited one, many of which result in painful burns to the colon. Mental Discharge has compiled, through extensive scientific research and a lot of bean dip, a visual guide to farts and their various anatomies. If you've ever been curious as to the different types of gaseous deployments that have crept up from your backside, you've come to the right place.

 

Each fart type is illustrated in an easy-to-understand format. Uncle Earl having a problem holding his ass? Little Timmy cut a little too much cheese? Reference this guide with friends and family to get the straight dope on nether belching.

Let's begin with the most typical of farts.

 

The Trumpet, also known as Air Pigeon, Butthole Blowout, Carpet Creeper, Fanny Beep, Flabbergaster, and Morning Thunder, is the most common fart people experience. The audible gas emission is much like a trumpet when properly applied to a surface, such as a chair or couch. The Trumpet produces a moderately unpleasant smell that floats about within a fairly confined area. The person responsible for releasing the Trumpet fart tends to be immune to its effects. When released in close proximity to others, it can be difficult to determine who has barking spiders.

 

The Streamer, also known as Aftershocks, Bunghole Buzzer, Crack Rattler, Deer Snort, Fart Combo, Trail Fart, and Putt-Putts, is much like a Trumpet fart, but doesn't detatch from the buttcheeks as quickly. The fart is carried during movement much like a streamer in the wind, trailing along like a snake, inescapable by anyone near the person who dealt it. The Streamer also consists of a collection of smaller farts after the primary one.

 

The Gift Giver is a dynamic fart because it operates from an object which recieves the odor. Only powerful farts can be crowned the title of the Gift Giver, as they must have enough potency to deliver the fart from an object as if the object itself just farted. The transmission of fart odor must be excreted using powerful anal muscle strength for a successful Gift Giver. Once a fart has been deployed on an object, give it to a neighbor or nearby friend as a surprise.

 

The Piss Putter, also known as the Belching Clown, Boomper Letters, Brownster, Chunder, Fing, Squib, and Zephyr, is an inverse fart. While the fart mass exists inside the bowels, it is not quite ready to be released. By overexerting muscles in the nether region to force it out, you instead stimulate your urethra and cause yourself to piss your pants. In certain cases, a small fart emission may occur, but a massive leak is still the end result.

 

The Hot Wind, also known as Wet Fart, Beaver Leaver, Bubblers, Desert Varnish, Hershey Smoke, Nuée Ardent, Smelly Jelly, and Trouser Cough, is a fart which has power unbeknownst to the farter themselves. While the massive blast has the sound and odor consistent with complete bowel release, the delivery is cut short by a bare amount of "number two" emission. The farter will gasp in surprise as well as cough as a result of the odor while checking for expulsion. Luckily, a Hot Wind borderlines between passing gas and passing stool.

 

The Torpedo, also known as Blow-By, Brown Speckled Mallard, Chou Pi, Hershey Splert, Ringtailed Roarer, and Surprise, is the unfortunate aftermath of a failed Hot Wind. A Torpedo not only emits an extremely loud, putrid fart, but expels the feces from which it came. While this normally would be considered simply taking a [bleep], it differs from the fact the farter was not intending on launching the Torpedo, nor was near a toilet to deliver it to.

 

The Dutch Oven, also known as the Sheet Fluffer, Pop Off, Thunder in the Buns, Ripship, Pop Tarts, and Fanny Bubble is a fart given an extended lifetime by containing it within a small atmosphere underneath the bedsheets. The area beneath the sheets helps retain the fart longer, as well as warms the surrounding area.

 

The Dark Matter, also known as Backblast, Booty Bomb, Death Poot, Eggy Whiffo, Flaming Cornhole, Purple Clouds, and Silent But Deadly, is the most destructive, putrid, powerful fart known to man. There is no noise; you will not be forewarned of an incoming bowel odor. You will feel no wind and the farter will not inform you of your upcoming demise. The Dark Matter is powerful enough to take out a small group of people, which could result in vomitting or unconsciousness.

http://www.mentaldischarge.com/?section=humanity&id=11

 

[msnevil]

Farts are a daily function of the human body. They come in various shapes and sizes, odors and intensities, sounds and potencies. However, the study of fart types and their affects is a limited one, many of which result in painful burns to the colon. Mental Discharge has compiled, through extensive scientific research and a lot of bean dip, a visual guide to farts and their various anatomies. If you've ever been curious as to the different types of gaseous deployments that have crept up from your backside, you've come to the right place.

 

Each fart type is illustrated in an easy-to-understand format. Uncle Earl having a problem holding his ass? Little Timmy cut a little too much cheese? Reference this guide with friends and family to get the straight dope on nether belching.

Let's begin with the most typical of farts.

 

The Trumpet, also known as Air Pigeon, Butthole Blowout, Carpet Creeper, Fanny Beep, Flabbergaster, and Morning Thunder, is the most common fart people experience. The audible gas emission is much like a trumpet when properly applied to a surface, such as a chair or couch. The Trumpet produces a moderately unpleasant smell that floats about within a fairly confined area. The person responsible for releasing the Trumpet fart tends to be immune to its effects. When released in close proximity to others, it can be difficult to determine who has barking spiders.

 

The Streamer, also known as Aftershocks, Bunghole Buzzer, Crack Rattler, Deer Snort, Fart Combo, Trail Fart, and Putt-Putts, is much like a Trumpet fart, but doesn't detatch from the buttcheeks as quickly. The fart is carried during movement much like a streamer in the wind, trailing along like a snake, inescapable by anyone near the person who dealt it. The Streamer also consists of a collection of smaller farts after the primary one.

 

The Gift Giver is a dynamic fart because it operates from an object which recieves the odor. Only powerful farts can be crowned the title of the Gift Giver, as they must have enough potency to deliver the fart from an object as if the object itself just farted. The transmission of fart odor must be excreted using powerful anal muscle strength for a successful Gift Giver. Once a fart has been deployed on an object, give it to a neighbor or nearby friend as a surprise.

 

The Piss Putter, also known as the Belching Clown, Boomper Letters, Brownster, Chunder, Fing, Squib, and Zephyr, is an inverse fart. While the fart mass exists inside the bowels, it is not quite ready to be released. By overexerting muscles in the nether region to force it out, you instead stimulate your urethra and cause yourself to piss your pants. In certain cases, a small fart emission may occur, but a massive leak is still the end result.

 

The Hot Wind, also known as Wet Fart, Beaver Leaver, Bubblers, Desert Varnish, Hershey Smoke, Nuée Ardent, Smelly Jelly, and Trouser Cough, is a fart which has power unbeknownst to the farter themselves. While the massive blast has the sound and odor consistent with complete bowel release, the delivery is cut short by a bare amount of "number two" emission. The farter will gasp in surprise as well as cough as a result of the odor while checking for expulsion. Luckily, a Hot Wind borderlines between passing gas and passing stool.

 

The Torpedo, also known as Blow-By, Brown Speckled Mallard, Chou Pi, Hershey Splert, Ringtailed Roarer, and Surprise, is the unfortunate aftermath of a failed Hot Wind. A Torpedo not only emits an extremely loud, putrid fart, but expels the feces from which it came. While this normally would be considered simply taking a [bleep], it differs from the fact the farter was not intending on launching the Torpedo, nor was near a toilet to deliver it to.

 

The Dutch Oven, also known as the Sheet Fluffer, Pop Off, Thunder in the Buns, Ripship, Pop Tarts, and Fanny Bubble is a fart given an extended lifetime by containing it within a small atmosphere underneath the bedsheets. The area beneath the sheets helps retain the fart longer, as well as warms the surrounding area.

 

The Dark Matter, also known as Backblast, Booty Bomb, Death Poot, Eggy Whiffo, Flaming Cornhole, Purple Clouds, and Silent But Deadly, is the most destructive, putrid, powerful fart known to man. There is no noise; you will not be forewarned of an incoming bowel odor. You will feel no wind and the farter will not inform you of your upcoming demise. The Dark Matter is powerful enough to take out a small group of people, which could result in vomitting or unconsciousness.

http://www.mentaldischarge.com/?section=humanity&id=11

 

[msnevil]

Farts are a daily function of the human body. They come in various shapes and sizes, odors and intensities, sounds and potencies. However, the study of fart types and their affects is a limited one, many of which result in painful burns to the colon. Mental Discharge has compiled, through extensive scientific research and a lot of bean dip, a visual guide to farts and their various anatomies. If you've ever been curious as to the different types of gaseous deployments that have crept up from your backside, you've come to the right place.

 

Each fart type is illustrated in an easy-to-understand format. Uncle Earl having a problem holding his ass? Little Timmy cut a little too much cheese? Reference this guide with friends and family to get the straight dope on nether belching.

Let's begin with the most typical of farts.

 

The Trumpet, also known as Air Pigeon, Butthole Blowout, Carpet Creeper, Fanny Beep, Flabbergaster, and Morning Thunder, is the most common fart people experience. The audible gas emission is much like a trumpet when properly applied to a surface, such as a chair or couch. The Trumpet produces a moderately unpleasant smell that floats about within a fairly confined area. The person responsible for releasing the Trumpet fart tends to be immune to its effects. When released in close proximity to others, it can be difficult to determine who has barking spiders.

 

The Streamer, also known as Aftershocks, Bunghole Buzzer, Crack Rattler, Deer Snort, Fart Combo, Trail Fart, and Putt-Putts, is much like a Trumpet fart, but doesn't detatch from the buttcheeks as quickly. The fart is carried during movement much like a streamer in the wind, trailing along like a snake, inescapable by anyone near the person who dealt it. The Streamer also consists of a collection of smaller farts after the primary one.

 

The Gift Giver is a dynamic fart because it operates from an object which recieves the odor. Only powerful farts can be crowned the title of the Gift Giver, as they must have enough potency to deliver the fart from an object as if the object itself just farted. The transmission of fart odor must be excreted using powerful anal muscle strength for a successful Gift Giver. Once a fart has been deployed on an object, give it to a neighbor or nearby friend as a surprise.

 

The Piss Putter, also known as the Belching Clown, Boomper Letters, Brownster, Chunder, Fing, Squib, and Zephyr, is an inverse fart. While the fart mass exists inside the bowels, it is not quite ready to be released. By overexerting muscles in the nether region to force it out, you instead stimulate your urethra and cause yourself to piss your pants. In certain cases, a small fart emission may occur, but a massive leak is still the end result.

 

The Hot Wind, also known as Wet Fart, Beaver Leaver, Bubblers, Desert Varnish, Hershey Smoke, Nuée Ardent, Smelly Jelly, and Trouser Cough, is a fart which has power unbeknownst to the farter themselves. While the massive blast has the sound and odor consistent with complete bowel release, the delivery is cut short by a bare amount of "number two" emission. The farter will gasp in surprise as well as cough as a result of the odor while checking for expulsion. Luckily, a Hot Wind borderlines between passing gas and passing stool.

 

The Torpedo, also known as Blow-By, Brown Speckled Mallard, Chou Pi, Hershey Splert, Ringtailed Roarer, and Surprise, is the unfortunate aftermath of a failed Hot Wind. A Torpedo not only emits an extremely loud, putrid fart, but expels the feces from which it came. While this normally would be considered simply taking a [bleep], it differs from the fact the farter was not intending on launching the Torpedo, nor was near a toilet to deliver it to.

 

The Dutch Oven, also known as the Sheet Fluffer, Pop Off, Thunder in the Buns, Ripship, Pop Tarts, and Fanny Bubble is a fart given an extended lifetime by containing it within a small atmosphere underneath the bedsheets. The area beneath the sheets helps retain the fart longer, as well as warms the surrounding area.

 

The Dark Matter, also known as Backblast, Booty Bomb, Death Poot, Eggy Whiffo, Flaming Cornhole, Purple Clouds, and Silent But Deadly, is the most destructive, putrid, powerful fart known to man. There is no noise; you will not be forewarned of an incoming bowel odor. You will feel no wind and the farter will not inform you of your upcoming demise. The Dark Matter is powerful enough to take out a small group of people, which could result in vomitting or unconsciousness.

http://www.mentaldischarge.com/?section=humanity&id=11