On the first day after Christmas, my True Love and I had a fight.
...and so I chopped the pear tree down, and burned it just for spite.
Then with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge.
My True Love, my True Love, my True Love gave to me.
On the second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves...
and very gently wrung the necks of both those turtle doves.
The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup.
I had to use the three french hens - to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake, for their language was obscene.
The five gold rings were completely fake, and they turned my fingers green!
On the sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay.
I gave the whole darned gaggle to the ASPCA.
The seventh day, what a mess I found!
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned!
My True Love, my True Love, my True Love gave to me.
On the eighth day after Christmas, I took the...
Eight maids a-milking,
Nine pipers piping,
Ten ladies dancing,
Eleven lords a-leaping,
Twelve drummers drumming...
(well, actually I kept one of the maids a-milking)
...and sent them back collect!
I wrote my True Love, "We are through, love," and I said in so many words:
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts are for the...
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Four calling birds,
Three french hens,
Two turtle doves,
...and a partridge in a pear tree.
Topic: 2003 Cost of Christmas (Read 3585 times)