Topic: Military Training Humor (Read 12039 times)

Hstaphath_XC · « **on:** December 10, 2003, 10:59:21 am »

"Aim Towards the Enemy" - Instruction printed on U.S. Army light anti-tank weapons

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S.M.C. Training Bulletin

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F brochure

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantryman's Journal

"A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - U.S. Army Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S.A.F. Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantryman's Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantryman's Journal

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantryman's Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Anon.

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anon.

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Anon.

"I am a demolitions specialist. If you see me running, try to keep up." - Hstaphath

JMM · « **Reply #1 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:08:18 am »

LOL, you bring back so many memories. I remember the monthly PMCS manuals, they were frigging cartoons! 6th grade level reading folks...

762 · « **Reply #2 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:18:18 am »

This was a 15 megaton (yes megaton) thermonuclear test device.

Note the sign ^^

Sirgod · « **Reply #3 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:19:00 am »

Quote:

"A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - U.S. Army Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

"I am a demolitions specialist. If you see me running, try to keep up." - Hstaphath

Stephen

Dash Jones · « **Reply #6 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:19:35 pm »

Pretty funny stuff there.

Dash Jones · « **Reply #9 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:38:20 pm »

What's a Jar head?

Dash Jones · « **Reply #13 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:58:17 pm »

Okay...I'll bite...what the heck is a leatherneck.

I think I've seen a picture or something of a snake on a package for a knife wait...that's leatherman...or something...

What's a leatherneck...

And how did marines (derogatory saying) get the term jarhead...where did it come from?

Sirgod · « **Reply #18 on:** December 10, 2003, 03:07:21 pm »

Dang dash you ask alot of questions.

Here you go bro.

Able target---The round bulls eye target
Aboard---on base
Alice pack---field pack worn by Marines.(all purpose,lightweight,individual,carrying,equipment)
All hands---everybody
As you were---resume activity
Aye,aye---Acknowledgement of an order.
BFA--- Blank Firing Apratas blocks the gas from the blank and uses it to cycle the bolt on the weapon.Without it the weapon would fire once and not cycle a new round into the chamber.
Blouse---jacket of the uniform.
Blues---Dress blue formal uniform.
Boondocks---Swamps,small towns,middle of nowhere(also called boonies)
Boot---Recruit,or new Marine.
Brass---officers.
Brig---jail,or prison.
Bulkhead---Wall
Bunk---Bed(also called "rack".)
Buttcan---Ashtray
Camies---camouflage uniform.
Carry on---same as "as you were".
CG---commanding General.

Chit---a small piece of paper,or recruit money.
Chow---Food
Chow down---to eat
Click--one notch of a rifle sight,or one kilometer.
CMC---Commandant of the Marine Corps.
Colors---American flag,also the ceremonies of raising the flag and lowering the flag.
Corpsman---Navy medic who serves with Marines, also called "doc".
Cover---Marine corps hat.
Deck---floor.
Deuce gear---782 gear,equipment carried by Marines.
D.I---Drill Instructor.
Ditty bag---a caring bag for misc.items,also called a war bag.
Dog and pony show---special drill,or something else if you happen to visit Korea!!
Double time---running.
Fart sack---a fixed sheet that goes on your rack.
Field day---cleanning the barracks.
Float---sea deployment.
FMF---Fleet Marine Force.
FTS---[bleep] the suck,what Marines say when they are mad at the Corps.
Galley---kitchen
Gear---FT.
Grinder---parade deck.
Grunt---Marine Infantryman.
Gung ho---highly motivated(Chinese for pulling together).
Hatch---door.
Head---toilet,or sh*tter.
High-and-Tight---standard marine haircut
Hooch--- a 2 man tent
Hump---march,or hike.
MCT---Marine Combat Training.
IG---Inspector General.
Jarhead---a Marine
Leatherneck---Another name for a Marine.
Leave---vacation.
Liberty---Authorized absence up to 96 hours.
M16A2---basic Marine weapon.
M60---belt fed automatic weapon.
Maggies drawers---means you missed the target at the rifle range!!
No load---a Marine that doesn't carry his weight,or a f*ckup(also see sh*tbird)
PFT---Physical fitness test
Pogey bait--- candy.
PX---post exchange,a store on base.
Quarters---living space.
Rack---bed(also see "bunk")
Rappel---to descend by rope.
Recon---reconnaissance.
Round---bullet,or shell.
Scuttlebutt---gossip,rumors,almost always bullsh*t!!
Seabag---large canvas bag for hauling you gear.
Secure---to stop,lock up or put away.
Semper Fi--- short for Semper Fidelis,Latin for always faithful,the Marine Corps motto.
Sick bay---medical center.
Skivvies---underwear.
Smoking lamp---if it is lit you can smoke,if it is out you cant smoke.
Snap in---Practice firing on the range.
SOP---standard operating procedure.
Sound off---shouting very loud!!
Squad bay---Large room where many marines live.
Squared away---neat,good Marine.
Squid--Navy person(also see "swabbie")
SRB---service record book
Swab--Mop
Swabbie---Navy person.(also see "squid")
T-day---B day.

Topside---upstairs.
UA---unauthorized absence.
Unk---unqualified on the rifle range.
Unsat---unsatisfactory.
War belt---cartridge belt used to carry equipment.
The word---confirmed info.

I think I got all of the swear words out of this post.

stephen

Edited because I didn't get all the prophanity out.

Sten · « **Reply #19 on:** December 10, 2003, 03:07:38 pm »

Just a quick antedote here.

Right after the 1st Gulf War, the Summer as a matter of fact I was detailed to put on a firepower demonstration for a bunch of ROTC cadets.

I had two brand new spanky privates I was using to demonstrate the M203 grenade launcher. The commander comes up and tells them to brief the cadets on the different types of ammo.

So one of them ask what they were. Being in my normal smart ass mode I tell them the real ones and then I throw in the "Davey Crockett" wire guided tactical nuuclear round.

They look at me with seom disblief so I proceed to tell them NO $hit it really exist it has a maxium range of 400 meters and a bursting radius of 1/2 a kliometer. So as soon as you fire the round you have to duck. So they both laugh and I tell them NOT to say that to the cadet in the afternoon.

The afernoon rolls around we conduct the firepower demonstration. I am the safety officer for the range and I am briefing a full Colonel who is in charge of the cadets. While I am tlaking to the Colonel. he starts laughing and tells me to listen to what my private is telling the cadets.

You guessed it. Ole Davey himself. He even includes the you have to duck line after you fire the grenade launcher.

Well this Colonel thought it was funny as hell and we both watched. I wondered just how screwed up American youth were becoming if they bought a story on a thermonuclear 40mm grenade.

Hstaphath_XC · « **Reply #23 on:** December 10, 2003, 10:59:21 am »

"Aim Towards the Enemy" - Instruction printed on U.S. Army light anti-tank weapons

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S.M.C. Training Bulletin

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F brochure

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantryman's Journal

"A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - U.S. Army Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S.A.F. Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantryman's Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantryman's Journal

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantryman's Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Anon.

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anon.

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Anon.

"I am a demolitions specialist. If you see me running, try to keep up." - Hstaphath

JMM · « **Reply #24 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:08:18 am »

LOL, you bring back so many memories. I remember the monthly PMCS manuals, they were frigging cartoons! 6th grade level reading folks...

762 · « **Reply #25 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:18:18 am »

This was a 15 megaton (yes megaton) thermonuclear test device.

Note the sign ^^

Dash Jones · « **Reply #29 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:19:35 pm »

Pretty funny stuff there.

Dash Jones · « **Reply #32 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:38:20 pm »

What's a Jar head?

Dash Jones · « **Reply #36 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:58:17 pm »

Okay...I'll bite...what the heck is a leatherneck.

I think I've seen a picture or something of a snake on a package for a knife wait...that's leatherman...or something...

What's a leatherneck...

And how did marines (derogatory saying) get the term jarhead...where did it come from?

Sirgod · « **Reply #41 on:** December 10, 2003, 03:07:21 pm »

Dang dash you ask alot of questions.

Here you go bro.

Able target---The round bulls eye target
Aboard---on base
Alice pack---field pack worn by Marines.(all purpose,lightweight,individual,carrying,equipment)
All hands---everybody
As you were---resume activity
Aye,aye---Acknowledgement of an order.
BFA--- Blank Firing Apratas blocks the gas from the blank and uses it to cycle the bolt on the weapon.Without it the weapon would fire once and not cycle a new round into the chamber.
Blouse---jacket of the uniform.
Blues---Dress blue formal uniform.
Boondocks---Swamps,small towns,middle of nowhere(also called boonies)
Boot---Recruit,or new Marine.
Brass---officers.
Brig---jail,or prison.
Bulkhead---Wall
Bunk---Bed(also called "rack".)
Buttcan---Ashtray
Camies---camouflage uniform.
Carry on---same as "as you were".
CG---commanding General.

Chit---a small piece of paper,or recruit money.
Chow---Food
Chow down---to eat
Click--one notch of a rifle sight,or one kilometer.
CMC---Commandant of the Marine Corps.
Colors---American flag,also the ceremonies of raising the flag and lowering the flag.
Corpsman---Navy medic who serves with Marines, also called "doc".
Cover---Marine corps hat.
Deck---floor.
Deuce gear---782 gear,equipment carried by Marines.
D.I---Drill Instructor.
Ditty bag---a caring bag for misc.items,also called a war bag.
Dog and pony show---special drill,or something else if you happen to visit Korea!!
Double time---running.
Fart sack---a fixed sheet that goes on your rack.
Field day---cleanning the barracks.
Float---sea deployment.
FMF---Fleet Marine Force.
FTS---[bleep] the suck,what Marines say when they are mad at the Corps.
Galley---kitchen
Gear---FT.
Grinder---parade deck.
Grunt---Marine Infantryman.
Gung ho---highly motivated(Chinese for pulling together).
Hatch---door.
Head---toilet,or sh*tter.
High-and-Tight---standard marine haircut
Hooch--- a 2 man tent
Hump---march,or hike.
MCT---Marine Combat Training.
IG---Inspector General.
Jarhead---a Marine
Leatherneck---Another name for a Marine.
Leave---vacation.
Liberty---Authorized absence up to 96 hours.
M16A2---basic Marine weapon.
M60---belt fed automatic weapon.
Maggies drawers---means you missed the target at the rifle range!!
No load---a Marine that doesn't carry his weight,or a f*ckup(also see sh*tbird)
PFT---Physical fitness test
Pogey bait--- candy.
PX---post exchange,a store on base.
Quarters---living space.
Rack---bed(also see "bunk")
Rappel---to descend by rope.
Recon---reconnaissance.
Round---bullet,or shell.
Scuttlebutt---gossip,rumors,almost always bullsh*t!!
Seabag---large canvas bag for hauling you gear.
Secure---to stop,lock up or put away.
Semper Fi--- short for Semper Fidelis,Latin for always faithful,the Marine Corps motto.
Sick bay---medical center.
Skivvies---underwear.
Smoking lamp---if it is lit you can smoke,if it is out you cant smoke.
Snap in---Practice firing on the range.
SOP---standard operating procedure.
Sound off---shouting very loud!!
Squad bay---Large room where many marines live.
Squared away---neat,good Marine.
Squid--Navy person(also see "swabbie")
SRB---service record book
Swab--Mop
Swabbie---Navy person.(also see "squid")
T-day---B day.

Topside---upstairs.
UA---unauthorized absence.
Unk---unqualified on the rifle range.
Unsat---unsatisfactory.
War belt---cartridge belt used to carry equipment.
The word---confirmed info.

I think I got all of the swear words out of this post.

stephen

Edited because I didn't get all the prophanity out.

Sten · « **Reply #42 on:** December 10, 2003, 03:07:38 pm »

Just a quick antedote here.

Right after the 1st Gulf War, the Summer as a matter of fact I was detailed to put on a firepower demonstration for a bunch of ROTC cadets.

I had two brand new spanky privates I was using to demonstrate the M203 grenade launcher. The commander comes up and tells them to brief the cadets on the different types of ammo.

So one of them ask what they were. Being in my normal smart ass mode I tell them the real ones and then I throw in the "Davey Crockett" wire guided tactical nuuclear round.

They look at me with seom disblief so I proceed to tell them NO $hit it really exist it has a maxium range of 400 meters and a bursting radius of 1/2 a kliometer. So as soon as you fire the round you have to duck. So they both laugh and I tell them NOT to say that to the cadet in the afternoon.

The afernoon rolls around we conduct the firepower demonstration. I am the safety officer for the range and I am briefing a full Colonel who is in charge of the cadets. While I am tlaking to the Colonel. he starts laughing and tells me to listen to what my private is telling the cadets.

You guessed it. Ole Davey himself. He even includes the you have to duck line after you fire the grenade launcher.

Well this Colonel thought it was funny as hell and we both watched. I wondered just how screwed up American youth were becoming if they bought a story on a thermonuclear 40mm grenade.

Hstaphath_XC · « **Reply #46 on:** December 10, 2003, 10:59:21 am »

"Aim Towards the Enemy" - Instruction printed on U.S. Army light anti-tank weapons

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S.M.C. Training Bulletin

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F brochure

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantryman's Journal

"A slipping trigger gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - U.S. Army Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S.A.F. Manual

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantryman's Journal

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantryman's Journal

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantryman's Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Anon.

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anon.

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Anon.

"I am a demolitions specialist. If you see me running, try to keep up." - Hstaphath

JMM · « **Reply #47 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:08:18 am »

LOL, you bring back so many memories. I remember the monthly PMCS manuals, they were frigging cartoons! 6th grade level reading folks...

762 · « **Reply #48 on:** December 10, 2003, 11:18:18 am »

This was a 15 megaton (yes megaton) thermonuclear test device.

Note the sign ^^

Dash Jones · « **Reply #52 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:19:35 pm »

Pretty funny stuff there.

Dash Jones · « **Reply #55 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:38:20 pm »

What's a Jar head?

Dash Jones · « **Reply #59 on:** December 10, 2003, 02:58:17 pm »

Okay...I'll bite...what the heck is a leatherneck.

I think I've seen a picture or something of a snake on a package for a knife wait...that's leatherman...or something...

What's a leatherneck...

And how did marines (derogatory saying) get the term jarhead...where did it come from?

Sirgod · « **Reply #64 on:** December 10, 2003, 03:07:21 pm »

Dang dash you ask alot of questions.

Here you go bro.

Able target---The round bulls eye target
Aboard---on base
Alice pack---field pack worn by Marines.(all purpose,lightweight,individual,carrying,equipment)
All hands---everybody
As you were---resume activity
Aye,aye---Acknowledgement of an order.
BFA--- Blank Firing Apratas blocks the gas from the blank and uses it to cycle the bolt on the weapon.Without it the weapon would fire once and not cycle a new round into the chamber.
Blouse---jacket of the uniform.
Blues---Dress blue formal uniform.
Boondocks---Swamps,small towns,middle of nowhere(also called boonies)
Boot---Recruit,or new Marine.
Brass---officers.
Brig---jail,or prison.
Bulkhead---Wall
Bunk---Bed(also called "rack".)
Buttcan---Ashtray
Camies---camouflage uniform.
Carry on---same as "as you were".
CG---commanding General.

Chit---a small piece of paper,or recruit money.
Chow---Food
Chow down---to eat
Click--one notch of a rifle sight,or one kilometer.
CMC---Commandant of the Marine Corps.
Colors---American flag,also the ceremonies of raising the flag and lowering the flag.
Corpsman---Navy medic who serves with Marines, also called "doc".
Cover---Marine corps hat.
Deck---floor.
Deuce gear---782 gear,equipment carried by Marines.
D.I---Drill Instructor.
Ditty bag---a caring bag for misc.items,also called a war bag.
Dog and pony show---special drill,or something else if you happen to visit Korea!!
Double time---running.
Fart sack---a fixed sheet that goes on your rack.
Field day---cleanning the barracks.
Float---sea deployment.
FMF---Fleet Marine Force.
FTS---[bleep] the suck,what Marines say when they are mad at the Corps.
Galley---kitchen
Gear---FT.
Grinder---parade deck.
Grunt---Marine Infantryman.
Gung ho---highly motivated(Chinese for pulling together).
Hatch---door.
Head---toilet,or sh*tter.
High-and-Tight---standard marine haircut
Hooch--- a 2 man tent
Hump---march,or hike.
MCT---Marine Combat Training.
IG---Inspector General.
Jarhead---a Marine
Leatherneck---Another name for a Marine.
Leave---vacation.
Liberty---Authorized absence up to 96 hours.
M16A2---basic Marine weapon.
M60---belt fed automatic weapon.
Maggies drawers---means you missed the target at the rifle range!!
No load---a Marine that doesn't carry his weight,or a f*ckup(also see sh*tbird)
PFT---Physical fitness test
Pogey bait--- candy.
PX---post exchange,a store on base.
Quarters---living space.
Rack---bed(also see "bunk")
Rappel---to descend by rope.
Recon---reconnaissance.
Round---bullet,or shell.
Scuttlebutt---gossip,rumors,almost always bullsh*t!!
Seabag---large canvas bag for hauling you gear.
Secure---to stop,lock up or put away.
Semper Fi--- short for Semper Fidelis,Latin for always faithful,the Marine Corps motto.
Sick bay---medical center.
Skivvies---underwear.
Smoking lamp---if it is lit you can smoke,if it is out you cant smoke.
Snap in---Practice firing on the range.
SOP---standard operating procedure.
Sound off---shouting very loud!!
Squad bay---Large room where many marines live.
Squared away---neat,good Marine.
Squid--Navy person(also see "swabbie")
SRB---service record book
Swab--Mop
Swabbie---Navy person.(also see "squid")
T-day---B day.

Topside---upstairs.
UA---unauthorized absence.
Unk---unqualified on the rifle range.
Unsat---unsatisfactory.
War belt---cartridge belt used to carry equipment.
The word---confirmed info.

I think I got all of the swear words out of this post.

stephen

Edited because I didn't get all the prophanity out.

Sten · « **Reply #65 on:** December 10, 2003, 03:07:38 pm »

Just a quick antedote here.

Right after the 1st Gulf War, the Summer as a matter of fact I was detailed to put on a firepower demonstration for a bunch of ROTC cadets.

I had two brand new spanky privates I was using to demonstrate the M203 grenade launcher. The commander comes up and tells them to brief the cadets on the different types of ammo.

So one of them ask what they were. Being in my normal smart ass mode I tell them the real ones and then I throw in the "Davey Crockett" wire guided tactical nuuclear round.

They look at me with seom disblief so I proceed to tell them NO $hit it really exist it has a maxium range of 400 meters and a bursting radius of 1/2 a kliometer. So as soon as you fire the round you have to duck. So they both laugh and I tell them NOT to say that to the cadet in the afternoon.

The afernoon rolls around we conduct the firepower demonstration. I am the safety officer for the range and I am briefing a full Colonel who is in charge of the cadets. While I am tlaking to the Colonel. he starts laughing and tells me to listen to what my private is telling the cadets.

You guessed it. Ole Davey himself. He even includes the you have to duck line after you fire the grenade launcher.

Well this Colonel thought it was funny as hell and we both watched. I wondered just how screwed up American youth were becoming if they bought a story on a thermonuclear 40mm grenade.

News:

Topic: Military Training Humor (Read 12039 times) var addthis_config = {"data_track_clickback":true};

Hstaphath_XC

JMM

762

Sirgod

Sten

Hstaphath_XC

Dash Jones

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Dash Jones

Hstaphath_XC

Sirgod

Sethan

Dash Jones

Sirgod

762

Hstaphath_XC

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Sten

Sethan

Sirgod

762

Hstaphath_XC

JMM

762

Sirgod

Sten

Hstaphath_XC

Dash Jones

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Dash Jones

Hstaphath_XC

Sirgod

Sethan

Dash Jones

Sirgod

762

Hstaphath_XC

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Sten

Sethan

Sirgod

762

Hstaphath_XC

JMM

762

Sirgod

Sten

Hstaphath_XC

Dash Jones

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Dash Jones

Hstaphath_XC

Sirgod

Sethan

Dash Jones

Sirgod

762

Hstaphath_XC

Dash Jones

Sirgod

Sten

Sethan

Sirgod

762

Topic: Military Training Humor (Read 12039 times)