Topic: Ok Great, Now what.  (Read 20782 times)

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Sirgod

  • Guest
Ok Great, Now what.
« on: November 26, 2003, 02:05:34 pm »
My sister just returned from having what I was told where X-rays done because of her destinded (sp) belly. Having sworn up and down to me, she was not pregnant, she comes back with ultra-sound pictures of the Baby she will deliver on Feb. 10th.

Ok right now I'm severly dissapointed in her, But I don't feel angry. she is 17 (sept. 26th is her B-day) and I've only had her living with me for about the last 5-6 months. I'm just trying to figure out How I can Budget for a newborne, while still tackling Denises medical Problems/expenses.

Let alone Buying the Furniture, Clothes, etc. and feeling like I didn't do enough for her, teach her enough to avoid situations like this.

On top of It all, I think the lying hurts the most. I may not be the most agreeable person in my Family, But I always want to know the truth.

Stephen

Taldren_Erin

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2003, 02:18:51 pm »
Sorry to hear that, Stephen. =(  Really. This has happened a couple of times in my family. The kids are beautiful and intelligent and wonderful but it's a strain, and frustrating, and disappointing when it happens this way.  

Dallas

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2003, 02:32:12 pm »
Jeez, when it rains it pours. I wish she had said something to you sooner cause
when I cleaned out the garage I gave away all of our baby stuff to charity. I would
of rather had given it to you if I had known.

 

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2003, 03:28:29 pm »
Thanks Erin and Dallas, Yep It is a strain. Of course Uncle Steve will love the Baby, and my sister, But it's just so sudden.

at this point in time, I'm not ashamed to ask for handme downs.

Hehe, the Baby will be loved, But will be a handme down Baby.  

Stephen

Taldren_Erin

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2003, 03:32:24 pm »
Do you know yet if it's a girl or a boy?  

Gambler

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2003, 03:35:14 pm »
It's stories like this that make me research  Chastity Belts for my daughter.  I figure I'll get her fitted with one when she turns 13 and have it removed when she turns 30.

It could be that your sister wasn't aware she was pregnant.  It happens.

You have my sympathies and good luck.

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2003, 04:43:13 pm »
Well in a way congrats Uncle Steve

Wish there was a way I could help...maybe I'll tape the telletubbies for you aswell  

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2003, 05:03:43 pm »
Quote:

Do you know yet if it's a girl or a boy?  




It going to be a boy according to the Ultra sound pics.

hehe, yep gambler I know exactly what you mean. She claims she honestly didn't know she was pregnant, But I still have my doubts. She had also swore up and down that she had never had sex so. But all that in my mind is irrelevant I guess. It's just a bitter pill to swallow, for me personaly not knowing my own sister as well as I thought I did. then again she may have just been to scared to come to me.

Andy, about the Telletubbies, Thanks but no thanks.   Seriously Thanks for the congrats. I guess I'm lucky the family found out about It at least two months in advance so we can do what we can for her and the Boy.

Stephen

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2003, 05:53:36 pm »
 
Quote:

 Andy, about the Telletubbies, Thanks but no thanks.




Got something against them?  

hehe.

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2003, 06:01:08 pm »
Quote:

She had also swore up and down that she had never had sex so.




Beware 3 men bearing gifts and asking where they can park their camels...  

TheBigCheese

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2003, 06:01:57 pm »
I think you wanna get off your high horse and stop being so judgemental Sirgod, can you imagine what your sister must be going through right now.Be more supportive man, she proberbly feels very ashamed of herself, which she should not be.
How many guys here were virgins at 17 eh?  

NCC2012

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2003, 10:03:40 pm »
Congrats Steve ... in a way.  I'd send things I have used for my kids, but after going through all three kids, not much is usable anymore.  

Iceman

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2003, 10:10:46 pm »
I don't think ashamed is the feeling. I'm 17 now, and I can say that I would be disappointed in myself at being caught in that situation.  I mean, she is probably upset she had to put you in this position in the first place.  And I'm 99% sure that Sirgod IS being supportive to her, and just venting to us. After all, isn't that what we're all here for? To help each other out?

EDIT: Also, if you want to talk to me about it since im a bit younger than some folks here (no offense to the younger ones) feel free to PM me, although I don't know how much help I can be. And Happy Thanksgiving.
« Last Edit: November 26, 2003, 10:14:09 pm by Iceman »

Taldren_Erin

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2003, 10:28:24 pm »
Cheese, buddy... take it easy. This is not an easy situation for a family to be in, and that's if everything is going good to start. Raising a child is a huge thing, and by the description of what happened he's handling it all extremely well. Better to be talking about the frustrations with friends so that there's a place to vent that kind of thing -- it helps in handling it all. Adding more stress to the situation certainly won't make it better. Sympathy, however, can, or I would hope so.  

Taldren_Admin

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #14 on: November 26, 2003, 10:53:24 pm »
I have three responses to your situations Sirgod:

1.Being a parent I can understand how disappointing it may be to find a young life changed so profoundly seeming without any regard to what lays ahead. The dishonesty makes it even harder to comprehend what the young person may have been thinking. The only thing that I have learned in my experience, raising my 4 children, is that you can never do enough for your kids. You can never teach them all there is to know. You can never impart the wisdom that you now have on them. All that you can do is love them and try and be there for them as much as possible.

Children are a blessing and a privilege. If your sister and family have given your niece the basic tools of love, patience and understanding then she will do the right things for the child. What she is too young and immature to do it seems your family is willing step in to help.

2. Wow, I feel for your niece. A part of her life that she will never regain has been sucked away because a foolish, probably rash, decision. At the time in her life where she should be getting to know herself and growing into her own person she will have to be thinking about someone else and their needs. It is too late to pass judgment on her or to think of what anyone could have/ should have done. It is a done deal and she and the child will have to make the best of growing up at the same time.

3. Congratulations to your family. I know that sounds funny after the things I said above but, in the end, you have a new member of the family to welcome in and that is always I time for joy.

Ann
 

Toasty0

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #15 on: November 27, 2003, 12:43:21 am »
Whoa, Cheese, chill dude. I think I know of which SG is going through and it's a major adjustment.

I'm just glad he has us to come to and work thorugh with us all the millions of feelings and thoughts that must surely be swirling through both mind and heart.

So, brother Cheese, back off, please.

Best,
Jerry  

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #16 on: November 27, 2003, 01:15:57 am »
Steve,  PM me and let me know what you need.  My nieces latest addition (Alexandria Alexis (( AL AL as I call her ) Will be a year old around then and a lot of her infant stuff will be too small for her.  They kind of dress her tomboy style,  so she has some cool clothing.  As for furniture,  I may be able to help with that as well.  Possibly a rocker,  maybe a cradle. Car seat probably. And since I live close enough,  and if your up to the 'gathering' after the first of the year,  I should be able to bring some stuff down to help you out.  Trust me bro,  we were all a little disappointed in my niece when she became pregnant with Malachy at age 17,  but in the final analysis, a beautiful little boy came into our lives 3 years ago,  and AL AL last year. It passes.  I know you have a big old world on your shoulders,  but after getting to know you a little, you can handle it.  Again,  PM me and I will start rounding stuff up.

Jeff

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #17 on: November 27, 2003, 08:35:52 am »
thanks again for all the responces. Don't worry about the BigCheese, I don't think he has known me that long. I usually come here to deal with my private thoughts on any given situation, and of course for the Support. But I would never add anymore stress  to my sisters situation, and of course offer her nothing but support.

I do in fact love her uncoditionaly, as I will her son.

GrimBeard, I don't know what I would do without you Bro, you've litaraly helped to pull my butt out of a situation twice now.

First with helping me move, and then again, With offering to help with the Baby Furniture.

I'll get my wife to sit down with me, and we'll get in touch with you via PM, Or I did find your number again.

I think after a restless nights sleep the shock of the situation is over, and although I do wonder where I went wrong in trying to teach her about things, I can't change the past.

anyway, God Bless, and have a good Turkey Bird Day.

Stephen

TheBigCheese

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #18 on: November 27, 2003, 03:21:56 pm »
Sorry I presumed you had told her that she was a dissapointment, if not then I apologise.
I have been on the end of such dissapointment myself and it is not pleasent
I am glad I have my children and have never regretted a minute of bringing them up.
I have been a single parent for the last ten years and have managed quite well, I'm sure your sister will .

It does seem troubling that she hid this from you, does she find you intimedating?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by TheBigCheese »

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok Great, Now what.
« Reply #19 on: November 27, 2003, 03:59:51 pm »
Quote:

Sorry I presumed you had told her that she was a dissapointment, if not then I apologise.
I have been on the end of such dissapointment myself and it is not pleasent
I am glad I have my children and have never regretted a minute of bringing them up.
I have been a single parent for the last ten years and have managed quite well, I'm sure your sister will .

It does seem troubling that she hid this from you, does she find you intimedating?




No Problem Big Cheese, you had no way of knowing.

I don't know If she finds me intimidating or If she was just Scared of the situation to begin with. My wife Denise have always told her, and my wifes kids, that they can always come to us with any of there problems whatsoever, On the other hand, I can be intimidating I guess to someone who is already scared out of there wits about what to do.

I honestly think It was a poor lack of judgement on her part, But even with the noticable wieght gain over the last few months, We where more concerned It might have been a side effect from some other Problems she has, Hyper active thyroid, kidney Infection, etc...

that's why we had her checked out, and had the work done. I'm thankfull we found out at least this early, But the first two trimesters, It would have been nice to have known so we could have Prepared abit better. Not only with the Babies needs, But with a better diet for her also.

trust me, I feel with you when You say being on the end of dissapointment, I was pretty much an only child, untill she was born when I was 16. Never knew my father, and the only other Father figure I had, was my grandfather who passed away when I was 10. I'd like to think It has made me personaly a better person, But there are days, man there are days.

Stephen