Topic: The silly Joke thread.  (Read 12443 times)

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Sirgod

  • Guest
When your this drunk You know your in trouble
« Reply #60 on: November 24, 2003, 09:51:27 am »
 When your this drunk You know your in trouble

* You lose arguments with inanimate objects
* You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
* Job interfering with your drinking.
* Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
* Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
* The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
* Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
* 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence??
* Two hands and just one mouth...
* You wake up to find Windows 95 installed on your machine.
* You fall off the floor...
* Discover in morning liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared
* Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
* Had "Spuds McKenzie" tattoo removed, replaced it with "Red Dog."
* Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
* Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore.
* Pat Buchanan starts to make sense
* When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof??
* Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you [also mosquitoes!]
* Only drinking problem is not having a drink right now
* Having a hard time staying on the side walk - left, right stumble fall
* You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, and you sleeped clothed.
* The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
* You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women.
* Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
* Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs
* I'm not drunk... you're just sober...
* Problem? I Drink, I get Drunk, I Fall down....No Problem
* Find yourself as the captain for the Exxon Valdez.
* When the bar owner actually carved your name onto your own barstool
* Your LIKE to watch Barney because you're so drunk already!
* That ~CeNsOrEd~ pink elephant followed me home again

Stephen

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: When your this drunk You know your in trouble
« Reply #61 on: November 24, 2003, 09:54:19 am »
And one more to make those at work Laugh out Loud.  

email to wrong wife:

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.

Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.

Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to
cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.

His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before. When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:

Dearest wife,

Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.

Your loving husband.

P.S. Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.

Stephen

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: When your this drunk You know your in trouble
« Reply #62 on: November 24, 2003, 11:23:06 am »
Lol Steve, I was laughing for ages when I first heard that joke a few years back, still good now