Sorry about the arrows, too tired to remove them.
>>Q: What do you call a Michigan cheerleader with two brain cells?
> > A: Pregnant.
> >
> > Q: Why don't Michigan fans let their kids play in the sand box?
> > A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
> >
> > Q: What do you get when you have a basement full of Michigan fans?
> > A: A Whine Cellar
> >
> > Q: An OSU fan & a Michigan fan are in the 3rd grade. Who's taller?
> > A: The Michigan fan... he's 18 years old.
> >
> > Q: How do you get every Michigan grad out of your neighborhood?
> > A: Hide all of the cardboard boxes.
> >
> > Q: What do you say to a Michigan player in a 3 piece suit?
> > A: Will the defendant please rise?
> >
> > Q: How do you keep a Michigan player out of the endzone?
> > A: Put a classroom there.
> >
> > Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Michigan campus?
> > A: A visitor
> >
> > Q: Why doesn't Michigan have ice on their sidelines during games?
> > A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
> >
> > Q: How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
> > A: Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
> >
> > Q: Why do women in Michigan wear high heels?
> > A: To keep their knuckles from dragging on the ground.
> >
> > Q: What does a tornado and a Michigan Grad have in common?
> > A: They both end up in trailer parks.
> >
> > Q: What words do you most often hear from a U of M graduate?
> > A: Would you like fries with that?"
> >
> > Q: Why are there 2 teams from Michigan in the Big ten?
> > A: There's so much crap in Ann Arbor they had to start a 2nd pile.
> >
> > Q: What are the 3 hardest years in the life of a Michigan fan?
> > A: Second Grade.
> >
> > Q: What do you discover when you breed a pig with a Michigan fan?
> > A: There are some things even pigs won't do.
> >
> > Q: Why are Michigan diplomas hung from rearview mirrors?
> > A: So Michigan grads can park in the handicapped spaces.
> >
> > Q: Why no drivers ed & sex ed on the same day in Michigan?
> > A: It's too hard on the mule.
> >
> > Q: Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
> > A: Ann Arbor- He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.
> >
> > Q: Why should Michigan choose orange as their team color?
> > A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, huntin' on Sunday, and picking up trash the rest of the week.
> >
> > Q: What do you call a 200 lb. Michigan cheerleader?
> > A: Anorexic
> >
> > Q: How many Michigan freshman does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> > A: None, it's a sophomore course
> >
> > Q: How many pallbearers would be needed for a Wolverines funeral?
> > A: Two. A garbage can only has two handles.
> >
> > Q: Why hasn't Ohio fallen into Kentucky?
> > A: Because Michigan SUCKS.
> >
> > Q: What is blue and yellow and has two teeth?
> > A: The front row at Michigan stadium.
> >
> > Q: What do you call a football player in Michigan who has talent?
> > A: A product of Ohio.
> >
> > Q: What's the diff between a Michigan cheerleader & an elephant?
> > A: About 50 pounds.
> >
> > Q: How do you make up the difference?
> > A: Force feed the elephant.
> >
> > Q: What is the difference between a dead dog on the freeway
> > and a dead Michigan fan on the freeway?
> > A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
> >
> > Q: What is the difference between Michigan and Frosted Flakes?
> > A: Frosted Flakes know what to do in a Bowl.
> >
> > Q: What is a Michigan football player's favorite pick-up line?
> > A: Didn't we almost flunk out together?
> >
> > Q: What is every Michigan football player assigned upon arriving at Ann Arbor?
> > A: A personal bail bondsman
> >
> > Q: How many Michigan players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> > A: One, but he gets three credits for it.
> >
> > Q: What is the definition of a wolverine?
> > A: A rat with VD.
> >
> > Q: What's the difference between a Michigan fan & a pail of s#!%?
> > A: The bucket.
> >
> > Q: What is very long and hard on a Michigan football player?
> > A: First Grade.
> >
> > Q: What's the difference between Michigan stadium and a porcupine?
> > A: Michigan stadium has 100,000 pricks on the inside.
> >
> > Q: Why did the Michigan Wolverine stop having phone sex?
> > A: Because the little holes hurt too much.
> >
> > Q: How do you get to Ann Arbor from Columbus?
> > A: Go north until you smell s#!%, then west until you step in it.
> >
> > Q: If a Michigan tailback, running back and quarterback are in a vehicle, then who is driving?
> > A: A police officer.
> >
> > Q: How do you keep a Michigan player from drowning??
> > A: Take your foot of of their head.
> >
> > Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch?
> > A: Pay him for the pizza.
> >
> > Q: What is the only sign of intelligent life in Michigan?
> > A: The freeway sign that says "Columbus, 192 miles".
> >
> > Q: What does the average UM student get on his SAT?
> > A: Drool
Topic: For all you Ohio State fans (Read 5228 times)