Topic: Ok a lil fun..  (Read 17730 times)

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vsfedwards

  • Guest
Ok a lil fun..
« on: November 17, 2003, 06:17:03 pm »
Lets play a game..ya'll know it, I say a line (maybe a paragraph) then you say yours, then someone else yadayada untill a story starts to build..



It was a cool, fresh spring morning. As I awoke it was a pain to open my eyes, the sun was glaring through my window and I had had a lot to drink the night before. I tried to recollect what had happened at my starfleet graduation party, but it was all quite a blur............................

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2003, 06:59:03 pm »
Quote:

Lets play a game..ya'll know it, I say a line (maybe a paragraph) then you say yours, then someone else yadayada untill a story starts to build..



It was a cool, fresh spring morning. As I awoke it was a pain to open my eyes, the sun was glaring through my window and I had had a lot to drink the night before. I tried to recollect what had happened at my starfleet graduation party, but it was all quite a blur............................  




Suddenly I realized, I still had on my (tm) Erik Betke starfleet command Sarcasm Glasses. Removing them, the room begin to clear, and the fog in my mind begain to subside. Rolling slowely out of bed and to my feet, I nearly screamed when I saw...............

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2003, 06:15:16 am »
...My great uncle Fred naked in front of me, evidently sleep walking and grumbling something about "Crappy Saber class sta(inaudible) my nephew is (inaudible) than that..."

I then proceeded to..

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2003, 09:04:41 am »
Open a fresh can of beer and ponder why in the hell I joined starfleet in the first place.  So long as I get to see strange new places and meet and or kill fascinating new aliens,  this may be the adventure I seek.  But ensign on the garbage scowl...........

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2003, 10:07:02 am »

..what I am going to have to settle for is to "Explore strange new garbage heaps, to seek our new trash and new contaminations, to boldly clean up what no one has ever been able to clean up before."  

Set phasers on boring.  

What I'd really rather be doing is...

 

Fahrenheit

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2003, 10:10:21 am »
Quote:


..what I am going to have to settle for is to "Explore strange new garbage heaps, to seek our new trash and new contaminations, to boldly clean up what no one has ever been able to clean up before."  

Set phasers on boring.  

What I'd really rather be doing is...

   




fantasizing about ensign Jakarti, but she never gave me the time of day.  Well, except for that one time, when I asked her what time it was, and she looked at me with this annoyed expression and pointed to the watch on my own wrist.  Man, what an idiot I was.  So, I guess it's time to ...

 

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2003, 10:24:59 am »
Start focusing on Lt. Commander Houlihan.  She seems open and friendly.  Doesnt look down on lowly Ensigns all the time.  Get her liqoured up and she may conider me an Admiral.  At least, ya know, before I drop trow.

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2003, 10:29:19 am »
I cracked open another beer, the great thing about being back on earth for the week is that we dont have to drink that crappy "synthahol" Admiral Menson wanted to talk to me about my job that day I  wondered  what it could be about. I finished off the beer and allowed the house to lock itself up as I waled out of the door. The air was cold, it was bitter and harsh to the face, but it was forecast to become very hot later in the day.On my way to starfleet headquarters, Michigan, I noticed....
 
Quote:

 Start focusing on Lt. Commander Houlihan. She seems open and friendly. Doesnt look down on lowly Ensigns all the time. Get her liqoured up and she may conider me an Admiral. At least, ya know, before I drop trow.
 


 

 Edited to match Grimbeards post
« Last Edit: November 18, 2003, 10:31:01 am by vsfedwards »

762

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2003, 11:05:15 am »
...something unusual about the herd of cows on the side of the road. Some of them were talking! I immediately pulled over and ran up to the cows, and just as quickly their conversation reverted to "Mooo...mmooo". Incredulous, I said "Hey, I heard you cows talking! What the heck is that all about??" To which one particularly saucy roan (presumably the Alpha cow) replied, "mooo??" "Oh no," I said, "don't give me that innocent cow look! I just herd you cows having a CONVERSATION!" (I could swear I heard some of them snickering when I said "herd", a particularly mis-timed freudian slip.)

Frustrated to tears, I...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by 762 »

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2003, 11:31:49 am »
wished I was on Qronos. Those Klingons really know how to drink.And their women do things that no human would do...however if I ingraciate myself into the heard of cows I could get something......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2003, 11:36:29 am »
...suddenly I realised these werent sheep and I wasnt in Wales. As I walked away some people looked at me quite startled. "maybe I should stick to the synthahol" I thought to myself...I jumped onto a shuttle that took me to the HQ. The view was spectacular and the trip very smooth, the pilot was very laid back and we started talking about.....  

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2003, 11:42:56 am »

...Douglas Adams.  It was then I realizedthat, although I was indisputably in living the life of a Starfleet Cadet the events surrounding me were switching faster than the side-effects of an Improbability Drive.   Something strange was definiately going on here.  

Set phasers on 'weird'.  

I stood there with my hands in my pockets, wondering what to do next.  Then I felt a small piece of paper.  I pulled it out and read it.  It was a note to myself, a reminder.  It said:  "Remember to..."

 

NJAntman

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2003, 12:35:32 pm »
Quote:


...Douglas Adams.  It was then I realizedthat, although I was indisputably in living the life of a Starfleet Cadet the events surrounding me were switching faster than the side-effects of an Improbability Drive.   Something strange was definiately going on here.  

Set phasers on 'weird'.  

I stood there with my hands in my pockets, wondering what to do next.  Then I felt a small piece of paper.  I pulled it out and read it.  It was a note to myself, a reminder.  It said:  "Remember to..."

   



".... apologize to Ambassador Jollos" (for that rude remark concerning Andorians and blue cows), "make copy of picture" (of that incriminating position the sensor logs recorded Admiral Menson & Lt. Commander Houlihan in down in the Jeffries tube), and "buy anti-fungal towel" (written in Ensign Jakarti's lipstick).

The last part of the note caught me by suprise since....  

KOTH-Steel Claw

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2003, 01:47:24 pm »
 
Quote:

 ".... apologize to Ambassador Jollos" (for that rude remark concerning Andorians and blue cows), "make copy of picture" (of that incriminating position the sensor logs recorded Admiral Menson & Lt. Commander Houlihan in down in the Jeffries tube), and "buy anti-fungal towel" (written in Ensign Jakarti's lipstick).

The last part of the note caught me by suprise since....  




I had just received a clean bill of health from medical. However, not wanting to tempt the Fates I......  

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2003, 07:32:27 pm »
put my hand down the front of my starfleet trousers and realised that jakarti's people don't do it the same way we do.So I put my hand.......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #15 on: November 18, 2003, 07:40:03 pm »
On the shuttle door as we docked into the headquarters top floor. I went up to the reception and told them I had arrived..they told me I could use the holodeck while I waited. So I put on my favourite program which is:  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2003, 02:53:02 pm »
Bump...come ooooon

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #17 on: November 19, 2003, 05:12:26 pm »
Which is....super slinky green vixens from alpha tau vishnu beta x1t6548jhmf Mu ( Orion). A great programme where women cook great.......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #18 on: November 20, 2003, 08:43:04 am »
.."Mr Lawson, please report to the admiral" ..this was it, I now proceeded to go to the Admiral and find out what he had to say. As I arrived in his office he offered me a seat and proceeded to tell me...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2003, 10:51:00 am »
...that it wasn't a good idea having images of me, Ensign Jakarti and Lt. Commander Houlihan fooling around on StarFleetNet.  "Because of this,"  he said...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2003, 11:13:58 am »
...That he was going to transfer me on a deep space mission. On the steamrunner class USS Shogun..

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #21 on: November 20, 2003, 11:36:26 am »
"Shogun," I thought, "the name roughly translates to 'Great General Appointed to Fight the Barbarians.'  Cool!  I'm finally going out there to kick some!"

Then I thought some more, "The Shogun headed an isolationist regime in old Japan.  Isolationist.  Isolate.  THAT'S what the Admiral is doing to me!  He's isolating me!  Well I'll just..."  

KOTH-Steel Claw

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #22 on: November 20, 2003, 11:51:20 am »
show that know-it-all so-and-so a thing or two. I am going to......................

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #23 on: November 20, 2003, 12:38:20 pm »
Discover a new type of floating space debris! Ah well, I start my assignment tomorrow, that leaves time for...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #24 on: November 20, 2003, 12:48:04 pm »
...one last image session with Ensign Jakarti and Lt. Commander Houlihan to upload to StarFleetNet.  Rumor has it that the Admiral is quite the conniseur of such images.

Can't stay up too late though.  Gotta catch the transport to the Shogun, 'cause if I'm late I'm sure the captain will...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #25 on: November 21, 2003, 03:12:39 pm »
bump...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #26 on: November 21, 2003, 03:32:20 pm »
...shoot me dead.

I made to the transport the next morning in a stupor just as it was about to take off.

Thirty minutes later we docked with the Shogun.  She was the very definition of spit and polish.  And she should be--her CO Captain Michelle Jones had the reputation throughout the Fleet of running a very tight ship.

I proceeded to the Captain's quarters to present my orders, getting thoroughly lost along the way.  When I finally found it, I rang the buzzer.

"Come."

I went inside and stood before Captain Jones somewhat lazily.

"Ah Ensign so good of you to join us," she said as I stood there.  "May I see your orders or are they a Federation Secret?"

I fumbled for my orders and handed them to the Captain.

"There are four ways of doing things on a starship," she said as she read my orders.  "The Right Way, The Wrong Way, The Starfleet Way, and My Way.  You do things My Way and we'll get along just fine.  Report to the XO for your watch assignment.  Dismissed."

As I left I thought, "So this is how the Admiral wishes to instill 'discipline' in me, by assigning me to some harda$$ captain."

Well she won't break me and kill my fun.  I've always lived by the old earth saying:  Where there's a will, there's a way.

So immediately I ...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #27 on: November 21, 2003, 03:47:46 pm »
Went over to the XO and recieved my shift. I didnt have to be on for another 3 hours so look around the bar. Everyone was busy meeting eachother and showing their shift rosters, when I looked across the room and saw my childhood friend, he came over to me and we started chatting about old times. We couldnt believe our luck in being assigned on the same ship.
    We began to meet other members and decided after a while to...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #28 on: November 21, 2003, 06:24:57 pm »
...sing some Klingon opera.  One of the other ensigns in the bar told us how badly we were singing (or rather growling) off key.  But with Klingons, how can you tell?

Just at that moment...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #29 on: November 21, 2003, 06:32:09 pm »
Kro'tos, the 3rd klingon officer in history to join Starfleet, walked in. He began laughing and walked towards me with a big threatening grin. I felt a flush of hot blood run through me as I was worried at whether or not he'd be offended at our singing. But he tapped me on the back (quite hard mind you) and carried the song back up, in the end we had half of the bar singing along with us, before the Captain walked in, she seemed to enjoy that we were getting along well together, ordered a chocolate desert and...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #30 on: November 21, 2003, 07:12:43 pm »
...announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen your attention please."

"First I would like to welcome all our newly minted ensigns on board the Shogun.  You'll soon learn why this ship is the best ship in the entire Starfleet.

"To those ensigns who have been working for years for this day, I tell you that your sacrifices and hard work will pay off.  'To explore new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations' is not for the weak in spirit.  Your presence on this ship today is indicitive of your desire to better the Federation.

"To those ensigns who feel that Starfleet is 'fun' or 'just a game'," she was looking straight at me, "will find out the hard way that it is most definately not.  I can only hope that you last long enough to gain some real insight as to why we're out here.

"We are about to embark on a critical mission for the Federation.  I am not at liberty to provide details yet but I can assure you that you will be pushed to your limits and beyond.

"Shogun will depart Spacedock at 0600.  Because of the importance of this mission as of 0300 the bar will remain closed for the duration of the mission."

There was muted grumbling at the announcement that the bar was closing.  For me it was just as well--wouldn't be a good idea being liqoured up the first day on the job.

My friend and I left the bar and...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #31 on: November 23, 2003, 12:17:33 pm »
It cant just be me and k doing this...c'mon guys..

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #32 on: November 17, 2003, 06:17:03 pm »
Lets play a game..ya'll know it, I say a line (maybe a paragraph) then you say yours, then someone else yadayada untill a story starts to build..



It was a cool, fresh spring morning. As I awoke it was a pain to open my eyes, the sun was glaring through my window and I had had a lot to drink the night before. I tried to recollect what had happened at my starfleet graduation party, but it was all quite a blur............................

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #33 on: November 17, 2003, 06:59:03 pm »
Quote:

Lets play a game..ya'll know it, I say a line (maybe a paragraph) then you say yours, then someone else yadayada untill a story starts to build..



It was a cool, fresh spring morning. As I awoke it was a pain to open my eyes, the sun was glaring through my window and I had had a lot to drink the night before. I tried to recollect what had happened at my starfleet graduation party, but it was all quite a blur............................  




Suddenly I realized, I still had on my (tm) Erik Betke starfleet command Sarcasm Glasses. Removing them, the room begin to clear, and the fog in my mind begain to subside. Rolling slowely out of bed and to my feet, I nearly screamed when I saw...............

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #34 on: November 18, 2003, 06:15:16 am »
...My great uncle Fred naked in front of me, evidently sleep walking and grumbling something about "Crappy Saber class sta(inaudible) my nephew is (inaudible) than that..."

I then proceeded to..

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #35 on: November 18, 2003, 09:04:41 am »
Open a fresh can of beer and ponder why in the hell I joined starfleet in the first place.  So long as I get to see strange new places and meet and or kill fascinating new aliens,  this may be the adventure I seek.  But ensign on the garbage scowl...........

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #36 on: November 18, 2003, 10:07:02 am »

..what I am going to have to settle for is to "Explore strange new garbage heaps, to seek our new trash and new contaminations, to boldly clean up what no one has ever been able to clean up before."  

Set phasers on boring.  

What I'd really rather be doing is...

 

Fahrenheit

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #37 on: November 18, 2003, 10:10:21 am »
Quote:


..what I am going to have to settle for is to "Explore strange new garbage heaps, to seek our new trash and new contaminations, to boldly clean up what no one has ever been able to clean up before."  

Set phasers on boring.  

What I'd really rather be doing is...

   




fantasizing about ensign Jakarti, but she never gave me the time of day.  Well, except for that one time, when I asked her what time it was, and she looked at me with this annoyed expression and pointed to the watch on my own wrist.  Man, what an idiot I was.  So, I guess it's time to ...

 

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #38 on: November 18, 2003, 10:24:59 am »
Start focusing on Lt. Commander Houlihan.  She seems open and friendly.  Doesnt look down on lowly Ensigns all the time.  Get her liqoured up and she may conider me an Admiral.  At least, ya know, before I drop trow.

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #39 on: November 18, 2003, 10:29:19 am »
I cracked open another beer, the great thing about being back on earth for the week is that we dont have to drink that crappy "synthahol" Admiral Menson wanted to talk to me about my job that day I  wondered  what it could be about. I finished off the beer and allowed the house to lock itself up as I waled out of the door. The air was cold, it was bitter and harsh to the face, but it was forecast to become very hot later in the day.On my way to starfleet headquarters, Michigan, I noticed....
 
Quote:

 Start focusing on Lt. Commander Houlihan. She seems open and friendly. Doesnt look down on lowly Ensigns all the time. Get her liqoured up and she may conider me an Admiral. At least, ya know, before I drop trow.
 


 

 Edited to match Grimbeards post
« Last Edit: November 18, 2003, 10:31:01 am by vsfedwards »

762

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #40 on: November 18, 2003, 11:05:15 am »
...something unusual about the herd of cows on the side of the road. Some of them were talking! I immediately pulled over and ran up to the cows, and just as quickly their conversation reverted to "Mooo...mmooo". Incredulous, I said "Hey, I heard you cows talking! What the heck is that all about??" To which one particularly saucy roan (presumably the Alpha cow) replied, "mooo??" "Oh no," I said, "don't give me that innocent cow look! I just herd you cows having a CONVERSATION!" (I could swear I heard some of them snickering when I said "herd", a particularly mis-timed freudian slip.)

Frustrated to tears, I...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by 762 »

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #41 on: November 18, 2003, 11:31:49 am »
wished I was on Qronos. Those Klingons really know how to drink.And their women do things that no human would do...however if I ingraciate myself into the heard of cows I could get something......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #42 on: November 18, 2003, 11:36:29 am »
...suddenly I realised these werent sheep and I wasnt in Wales. As I walked away some people looked at me quite startled. "maybe I should stick to the synthahol" I thought to myself...I jumped onto a shuttle that took me to the HQ. The view was spectacular and the trip very smooth, the pilot was very laid back and we started talking about.....  

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #43 on: November 18, 2003, 11:42:56 am »

...Douglas Adams.  It was then I realizedthat, although I was indisputably in living the life of a Starfleet Cadet the events surrounding me were switching faster than the side-effects of an Improbability Drive.   Something strange was definiately going on here.  

Set phasers on 'weird'.  

I stood there with my hands in my pockets, wondering what to do next.  Then I felt a small piece of paper.  I pulled it out and read it.  It was a note to myself, a reminder.  It said:  "Remember to..."

 

NJAntman

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #44 on: November 18, 2003, 12:35:32 pm »
Quote:


...Douglas Adams.  It was then I realizedthat, although I was indisputably in living the life of a Starfleet Cadet the events surrounding me were switching faster than the side-effects of an Improbability Drive.   Something strange was definiately going on here.  

Set phasers on 'weird'.  

I stood there with my hands in my pockets, wondering what to do next.  Then I felt a small piece of paper.  I pulled it out and read it.  It was a note to myself, a reminder.  It said:  "Remember to..."

   



".... apologize to Ambassador Jollos" (for that rude remark concerning Andorians and blue cows), "make copy of picture" (of that incriminating position the sensor logs recorded Admiral Menson & Lt. Commander Houlihan in down in the Jeffries tube), and "buy anti-fungal towel" (written in Ensign Jakarti's lipstick).

The last part of the note caught me by suprise since....  

KOTH-Steel Claw

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #45 on: November 18, 2003, 01:47:24 pm »
 
Quote:

 ".... apologize to Ambassador Jollos" (for that rude remark concerning Andorians and blue cows), "make copy of picture" (of that incriminating position the sensor logs recorded Admiral Menson & Lt. Commander Houlihan in down in the Jeffries tube), and "buy anti-fungal towel" (written in Ensign Jakarti's lipstick).

The last part of the note caught me by suprise since....  




I had just received a clean bill of health from medical. However, not wanting to tempt the Fates I......  

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #46 on: November 18, 2003, 07:32:27 pm »
put my hand down the front of my starfleet trousers and realised that jakarti's people don't do it the same way we do.So I put my hand.......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #47 on: November 18, 2003, 07:40:03 pm »
On the shuttle door as we docked into the headquarters top floor. I went up to the reception and told them I had arrived..they told me I could use the holodeck while I waited. So I put on my favourite program which is:  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #48 on: November 19, 2003, 02:53:02 pm »
Bump...come ooooon

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #49 on: November 19, 2003, 05:12:26 pm »
Which is....super slinky green vixens from alpha tau vishnu beta x1t6548jhmf Mu ( Orion). A great programme where women cook great.......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #50 on: November 20, 2003, 08:43:04 am »
.."Mr Lawson, please report to the admiral" ..this was it, I now proceeded to go to the Admiral and find out what he had to say. As I arrived in his office he offered me a seat and proceeded to tell me...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #51 on: November 20, 2003, 10:51:00 am »
...that it wasn't a good idea having images of me, Ensign Jakarti and Lt. Commander Houlihan fooling around on StarFleetNet.  "Because of this,"  he said...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #52 on: November 20, 2003, 11:13:58 am »
...That he was going to transfer me on a deep space mission. On the steamrunner class USS Shogun..

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #53 on: November 20, 2003, 11:36:26 am »
"Shogun," I thought, "the name roughly translates to 'Great General Appointed to Fight the Barbarians.'  Cool!  I'm finally going out there to kick some!"

Then I thought some more, "The Shogun headed an isolationist regime in old Japan.  Isolationist.  Isolate.  THAT'S what the Admiral is doing to me!  He's isolating me!  Well I'll just..."  

KOTH-Steel Claw

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #54 on: November 20, 2003, 11:51:20 am »
show that know-it-all so-and-so a thing or two. I am going to......................

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #55 on: November 20, 2003, 12:38:20 pm »
Discover a new type of floating space debris! Ah well, I start my assignment tomorrow, that leaves time for...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #56 on: November 20, 2003, 12:48:04 pm »
...one last image session with Ensign Jakarti and Lt. Commander Houlihan to upload to StarFleetNet.  Rumor has it that the Admiral is quite the conniseur of such images.

Can't stay up too late though.  Gotta catch the transport to the Shogun, 'cause if I'm late I'm sure the captain will...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #57 on: November 21, 2003, 03:12:39 pm »
bump...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #58 on: November 21, 2003, 03:32:20 pm »
...shoot me dead.

I made to the transport the next morning in a stupor just as it was about to take off.

Thirty minutes later we docked with the Shogun.  She was the very definition of spit and polish.  And she should be--her CO Captain Michelle Jones had the reputation throughout the Fleet of running a very tight ship.

I proceeded to the Captain's quarters to present my orders, getting thoroughly lost along the way.  When I finally found it, I rang the buzzer.

"Come."

I went inside and stood before Captain Jones somewhat lazily.

"Ah Ensign so good of you to join us," she said as I stood there.  "May I see your orders or are they a Federation Secret?"

I fumbled for my orders and handed them to the Captain.

"There are four ways of doing things on a starship," she said as she read my orders.  "The Right Way, The Wrong Way, The Starfleet Way, and My Way.  You do things My Way and we'll get along just fine.  Report to the XO for your watch assignment.  Dismissed."

As I left I thought, "So this is how the Admiral wishes to instill 'discipline' in me, by assigning me to some harda$$ captain."

Well she won't break me and kill my fun.  I've always lived by the old earth saying:  Where there's a will, there's a way.

So immediately I ...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #59 on: November 21, 2003, 03:47:46 pm »
Went over to the XO and recieved my shift. I didnt have to be on for another 3 hours so look around the bar. Everyone was busy meeting eachother and showing their shift rosters, when I looked across the room and saw my childhood friend, he came over to me and we started chatting about old times. We couldnt believe our luck in being assigned on the same ship.
    We began to meet other members and decided after a while to...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #60 on: November 21, 2003, 06:24:57 pm »
...sing some Klingon opera.  One of the other ensigns in the bar told us how badly we were singing (or rather growling) off key.  But with Klingons, how can you tell?

Just at that moment...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #61 on: November 21, 2003, 06:32:09 pm »
Kro'tos, the 3rd klingon officer in history to join Starfleet, walked in. He began laughing and walked towards me with a big threatening grin. I felt a flush of hot blood run through me as I was worried at whether or not he'd be offended at our singing. But he tapped me on the back (quite hard mind you) and carried the song back up, in the end we had half of the bar singing along with us, before the Captain walked in, she seemed to enjoy that we were getting along well together, ordered a chocolate desert and...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #62 on: November 21, 2003, 07:12:43 pm »
...announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen your attention please."

"First I would like to welcome all our newly minted ensigns on board the Shogun.  You'll soon learn why this ship is the best ship in the entire Starfleet.

"To those ensigns who have been working for years for this day, I tell you that your sacrifices and hard work will pay off.  'To explore new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations' is not for the weak in spirit.  Your presence on this ship today is indicitive of your desire to better the Federation.

"To those ensigns who feel that Starfleet is 'fun' or 'just a game'," she was looking straight at me, "will find out the hard way that it is most definately not.  I can only hope that you last long enough to gain some real insight as to why we're out here.

"We are about to embark on a critical mission for the Federation.  I am not at liberty to provide details yet but I can assure you that you will be pushed to your limits and beyond.

"Shogun will depart Spacedock at 0600.  Because of the importance of this mission as of 0300 the bar will remain closed for the duration of the mission."

There was muted grumbling at the announcement that the bar was closing.  For me it was just as well--wouldn't be a good idea being liqoured up the first day on the job.

My friend and I left the bar and...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #63 on: November 23, 2003, 12:17:33 pm »
It cant just be me and k doing this...c'mon guys..

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #64 on: November 17, 2003, 06:17:03 pm »
Lets play a game..ya'll know it, I say a line (maybe a paragraph) then you say yours, then someone else yadayada untill a story starts to build..



It was a cool, fresh spring morning. As I awoke it was a pain to open my eyes, the sun was glaring through my window and I had had a lot to drink the night before. I tried to recollect what had happened at my starfleet graduation party, but it was all quite a blur............................

Sirgod

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #65 on: November 17, 2003, 06:59:03 pm »
Quote:

Lets play a game..ya'll know it, I say a line (maybe a paragraph) then you say yours, then someone else yadayada untill a story starts to build..



It was a cool, fresh spring morning. As I awoke it was a pain to open my eyes, the sun was glaring through my window and I had had a lot to drink the night before. I tried to recollect what had happened at my starfleet graduation party, but it was all quite a blur............................  




Suddenly I realized, I still had on my (tm) Erik Betke starfleet command Sarcasm Glasses. Removing them, the room begin to clear, and the fog in my mind begain to subside. Rolling slowely out of bed and to my feet, I nearly screamed when I saw...............

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #66 on: November 18, 2003, 06:15:16 am »
...My great uncle Fred naked in front of me, evidently sleep walking and grumbling something about "Crappy Saber class sta(inaudible) my nephew is (inaudible) than that..."

I then proceeded to..

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #67 on: November 18, 2003, 09:04:41 am »
Open a fresh can of beer and ponder why in the hell I joined starfleet in the first place.  So long as I get to see strange new places and meet and or kill fascinating new aliens,  this may be the adventure I seek.  But ensign on the garbage scowl...........

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #68 on: November 18, 2003, 10:07:02 am »

..what I am going to have to settle for is to "Explore strange new garbage heaps, to seek our new trash and new contaminations, to boldly clean up what no one has ever been able to clean up before."  

Set phasers on boring.  

What I'd really rather be doing is...

 

Fahrenheit

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #69 on: November 18, 2003, 10:10:21 am »
Quote:


..what I am going to have to settle for is to "Explore strange new garbage heaps, to seek our new trash and new contaminations, to boldly clean up what no one has ever been able to clean up before."  

Set phasers on boring.  

What I'd really rather be doing is...

   




fantasizing about ensign Jakarti, but she never gave me the time of day.  Well, except for that one time, when I asked her what time it was, and she looked at me with this annoyed expression and pointed to the watch on my own wrist.  Man, what an idiot I was.  So, I guess it's time to ...

 

grimbeard

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #70 on: November 18, 2003, 10:24:59 am »
Start focusing on Lt. Commander Houlihan.  She seems open and friendly.  Doesnt look down on lowly Ensigns all the time.  Get her liqoured up and she may conider me an Admiral.  At least, ya know, before I drop trow.

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #71 on: November 18, 2003, 10:29:19 am »
I cracked open another beer, the great thing about being back on earth for the week is that we dont have to drink that crappy "synthahol" Admiral Menson wanted to talk to me about my job that day I  wondered  what it could be about. I finished off the beer and allowed the house to lock itself up as I waled out of the door. The air was cold, it was bitter and harsh to the face, but it was forecast to become very hot later in the day.On my way to starfleet headquarters, Michigan, I noticed....
 
Quote:

 Start focusing on Lt. Commander Houlihan. She seems open and friendly. Doesnt look down on lowly Ensigns all the time. Get her liqoured up and she may conider me an Admiral. At least, ya know, before I drop trow.
 


 

 Edited to match Grimbeards post
« Last Edit: November 18, 2003, 10:31:01 am by vsfedwards »

762

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #72 on: November 18, 2003, 11:05:15 am »
...something unusual about the herd of cows on the side of the road. Some of them were talking! I immediately pulled over and ran up to the cows, and just as quickly their conversation reverted to "Mooo...mmooo". Incredulous, I said "Hey, I heard you cows talking! What the heck is that all about??" To which one particularly saucy roan (presumably the Alpha cow) replied, "mooo??" "Oh no," I said, "don't give me that innocent cow look! I just herd you cows having a CONVERSATION!" (I could swear I heard some of them snickering when I said "herd", a particularly mis-timed freudian slip.)

Frustrated to tears, I...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 06:00:00 pm by 762 »

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #73 on: November 18, 2003, 11:31:49 am »
wished I was on Qronos. Those Klingons really know how to drink.And their women do things that no human would do...however if I ingraciate myself into the heard of cows I could get something......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #74 on: November 18, 2003, 11:36:29 am »
...suddenly I realised these werent sheep and I wasnt in Wales. As I walked away some people looked at me quite startled. "maybe I should stick to the synthahol" I thought to myself...I jumped onto a shuttle that took me to the HQ. The view was spectacular and the trip very smooth, the pilot was very laid back and we started talking about.....  

Scott Allen Abfalter

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #75 on: November 18, 2003, 11:42:56 am »

...Douglas Adams.  It was then I realizedthat, although I was indisputably in living the life of a Starfleet Cadet the events surrounding me were switching faster than the side-effects of an Improbability Drive.   Something strange was definiately going on here.  

Set phasers on 'weird'.  

I stood there with my hands in my pockets, wondering what to do next.  Then I felt a small piece of paper.  I pulled it out and read it.  It was a note to myself, a reminder.  It said:  "Remember to..."

 

NJAntman

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #76 on: November 18, 2003, 12:35:32 pm »
Quote:


...Douglas Adams.  It was then I realizedthat, although I was indisputably in living the life of a Starfleet Cadet the events surrounding me were switching faster than the side-effects of an Improbability Drive.   Something strange was definiately going on here.  

Set phasers on 'weird'.  

I stood there with my hands in my pockets, wondering what to do next.  Then I felt a small piece of paper.  I pulled it out and read it.  It was a note to myself, a reminder.  It said:  "Remember to..."

   



".... apologize to Ambassador Jollos" (for that rude remark concerning Andorians and blue cows), "make copy of picture" (of that incriminating position the sensor logs recorded Admiral Menson & Lt. Commander Houlihan in down in the Jeffries tube), and "buy anti-fungal towel" (written in Ensign Jakarti's lipstick).

The last part of the note caught me by suprise since....  

KOTH-Steel Claw

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #77 on: November 18, 2003, 01:47:24 pm »
 
Quote:

 ".... apologize to Ambassador Jollos" (for that rude remark concerning Andorians and blue cows), "make copy of picture" (of that incriminating position the sensor logs recorded Admiral Menson & Lt. Commander Houlihan in down in the Jeffries tube), and "buy anti-fungal towel" (written in Ensign Jakarti's lipstick).

The last part of the note caught me by suprise since....  




I had just received a clean bill of health from medical. However, not wanting to tempt the Fates I......  

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #78 on: November 18, 2003, 07:32:27 pm »
put my hand down the front of my starfleet trousers and realised that jakarti's people don't do it the same way we do.So I put my hand.......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #79 on: November 18, 2003, 07:40:03 pm »
On the shuttle door as we docked into the headquarters top floor. I went up to the reception and told them I had arrived..they told me I could use the holodeck while I waited. So I put on my favourite program which is:  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #80 on: November 19, 2003, 02:53:02 pm »
Bump...come ooooon

Confused??

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #81 on: November 19, 2003, 05:12:26 pm »
Which is....super slinky green vixens from alpha tau vishnu beta x1t6548jhmf Mu ( Orion). A great programme where women cook great.......

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #82 on: November 20, 2003, 08:43:04 am »
.."Mr Lawson, please report to the admiral" ..this was it, I now proceeded to go to the Admiral and find out what he had to say. As I arrived in his office he offered me a seat and proceeded to tell me...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #83 on: November 20, 2003, 10:51:00 am »
...that it wasn't a good idea having images of me, Ensign Jakarti and Lt. Commander Houlihan fooling around on StarFleetNet.  "Because of this,"  he said...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #84 on: November 20, 2003, 11:13:58 am »
...That he was going to transfer me on a deep space mission. On the steamrunner class USS Shogun..

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #85 on: November 20, 2003, 11:36:26 am »
"Shogun," I thought, "the name roughly translates to 'Great General Appointed to Fight the Barbarians.'  Cool!  I'm finally going out there to kick some!"

Then I thought some more, "The Shogun headed an isolationist regime in old Japan.  Isolationist.  Isolate.  THAT'S what the Admiral is doing to me!  He's isolating me!  Well I'll just..."  

KOTH-Steel Claw

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #86 on: November 20, 2003, 11:51:20 am »
show that know-it-all so-and-so a thing or two. I am going to......................

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #87 on: November 20, 2003, 12:38:20 pm »
Discover a new type of floating space debris! Ah well, I start my assignment tomorrow, that leaves time for...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #88 on: November 20, 2003, 12:48:04 pm »
...one last image session with Ensign Jakarti and Lt. Commander Houlihan to upload to StarFleetNet.  Rumor has it that the Admiral is quite the conniseur of such images.

Can't stay up too late though.  Gotta catch the transport to the Shogun, 'cause if I'm late I'm sure the captain will...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #89 on: November 21, 2003, 03:12:39 pm »
bump...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #90 on: November 21, 2003, 03:32:20 pm »
...shoot me dead.

I made to the transport the next morning in a stupor just as it was about to take off.

Thirty minutes later we docked with the Shogun.  She was the very definition of spit and polish.  And she should be--her CO Captain Michelle Jones had the reputation throughout the Fleet of running a very tight ship.

I proceeded to the Captain's quarters to present my orders, getting thoroughly lost along the way.  When I finally found it, I rang the buzzer.

"Come."

I went inside and stood before Captain Jones somewhat lazily.

"Ah Ensign so good of you to join us," she said as I stood there.  "May I see your orders or are they a Federation Secret?"

I fumbled for my orders and handed them to the Captain.

"There are four ways of doing things on a starship," she said as she read my orders.  "The Right Way, The Wrong Way, The Starfleet Way, and My Way.  You do things My Way and we'll get along just fine.  Report to the XO for your watch assignment.  Dismissed."

As I left I thought, "So this is how the Admiral wishes to instill 'discipline' in me, by assigning me to some harda$$ captain."

Well she won't break me and kill my fun.  I've always lived by the old earth saying:  Where there's a will, there's a way.

So immediately I ...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #91 on: November 21, 2003, 03:47:46 pm »
Went over to the XO and recieved my shift. I didnt have to be on for another 3 hours so look around the bar. Everyone was busy meeting eachother and showing their shift rosters, when I looked across the room and saw my childhood friend, he came over to me and we started chatting about old times. We couldnt believe our luck in being assigned on the same ship.
    We began to meet other members and decided after a while to...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #92 on: November 21, 2003, 06:24:57 pm »
...sing some Klingon opera.  One of the other ensigns in the bar told us how badly we were singing (or rather growling) off key.  But with Klingons, how can you tell?

Just at that moment...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #93 on: November 21, 2003, 06:32:09 pm »
Kro'tos, the 3rd klingon officer in history to join Starfleet, walked in. He began laughing and walked towards me with a big threatening grin. I felt a flush of hot blood run through me as I was worried at whether or not he'd be offended at our singing. But he tapped me on the back (quite hard mind you) and carried the song back up, in the end we had half of the bar singing along with us, before the Captain walked in, she seemed to enjoy that we were getting along well together, ordered a chocolate desert and...

Kmelew

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #94 on: November 21, 2003, 07:12:43 pm »
...announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen your attention please."

"First I would like to welcome all our newly minted ensigns on board the Shogun.  You'll soon learn why this ship is the best ship in the entire Starfleet.

"To those ensigns who have been working for years for this day, I tell you that your sacrifices and hard work will pay off.  'To explore new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations' is not for the weak in spirit.  Your presence on this ship today is indicitive of your desire to better the Federation.

"To those ensigns who feel that Starfleet is 'fun' or 'just a game'," she was looking straight at me, "will find out the hard way that it is most definately not.  I can only hope that you last long enough to gain some real insight as to why we're out here.

"We are about to embark on a critical mission for the Federation.  I am not at liberty to provide details yet but I can assure you that you will be pushed to your limits and beyond.

"Shogun will depart Spacedock at 0600.  Because of the importance of this mission as of 0300 the bar will remain closed for the duration of the mission."

There was muted grumbling at the announcement that the bar was closing.  For me it was just as well--wouldn't be a good idea being liqoured up the first day on the job.

My friend and I left the bar and...  

vsfedwards

  • Guest
Re: Ok a lil fun..
« Reply #95 on: November 23, 2003, 12:17:33 pm »
It cant just be me and k doing this...c'mon guys..