Topic: To KBF Dogmatix

[SSCF Hooch]

To: Admiral Dogmatix
From; SSCF Hooch
Subject: Worthy Foe

Sir,

It has come my attention that you have decided to retire from your position as leader of the KFB.

I wish to extend a salute to the Federation's most worthy and noble foe.

<S>

I in earth is history it is told that the greatness of your empire is measured by the strenth of your enemies. If this be the case then we of the Federation are honored to have had such an honorable and fearce foe such as yourself.

I have many times tried to get into Doggy's mind while in a campaign, sometimes I guessed right, most times I was simply amazed at your tactics. While flying with you and your "Red Horde" in IDSL I took notes, and learned from you and your tactics.

I hope you noted that in AoTK, where I put them to use.

If am I allied or opposed to you, it is, and always has been an previlge to play in a game with you.

I hope that who ever takes your place, (for no one can fill your shoes), is as great a player and tactician as you have been.

May the wind be at your back aways.

SSCF Hooch

R/P on

PS

You stinking Klink, you think by "retiring" that the Federation will simply let you slink away and not stand trial for your long years of War Crimes against the UFP?

Yea Right, sure thats what we will do...

Think again "knobby head"! I have a warrant that still needs to be served on your a** and I intend to serve it.

Got that?

Next time you feel the hair your neck stand up, that will be me serving a grade "A" large can of Federation "Overloaded" Blue Whoop-Ass on your rear hull of that tug boat you call a starship.

Have a Federation day!

R/P Off

Doggy, your the best Klingon I have ever know at D2, and I mean that. Good Luck and God's peace and blessings be on you and you family.

Hooch
AKA
Byron Houchins
 

[Khjimraph, KBF]

To: Decadent, weak-minded StarFleet lackey of the cowardly lying colonialist hairless-monkey infested  "Federation"
From: Klingon repressing the need to projectile vomit at having to respond to the propaganda of lowly hu-mans
Subject: as usual, despite superior weaponry and economey, you are too lazy to bother with facts

Hail Targ sore puss!

"KFB"? Oh... you must mean KBF, a tag used by The Black Fleet. Captain Dogmatix has not resigned his position from The Black Fleet - there is no rest for his warship in the KBF. In fact... he has not signed off from either SFC2net or SFC in general. He has stepped down as 'Chancellor' (Klingon RM) in order to spend more time with his 15 wives and 32 children.  He will contnue to fight and to act as a AM in support of whoever replaces him, and be appreciated as the great guy to be with that he is... Not that he will be replaced easily, but replaced he will be... but it is his legacy of organisation that will remain - that will ensure he and all Klingons on SFC2net will continue to wage war and have fun.  And having more fun - either with his kids or in SFC is exactly what he will do... so I sense you will discover your pitiful and embarrassing sentiments of parting to be laughably out of place as Dogmatix will continue helping enact more sacred victories (or 'War Crimes' as you so cutely put it) for the most Glorious Klingon Empire!  

[DiggityDank]

Damn you crack me up, Q-Tip, hehehe.

Very nice Thread Hootchie.  

R/P on.

"Communications officer!  What is this <Klingon Cursing> so called 'communication you bring me?"  Captain Dank withdraws his disruptor and vaporizes his Comm Officer, as Klingons believe in killing the messenger.

"Blathering flathead P'taks , friggin' hippies .... " growled Dank. "Always with the talk.  Heh, if he really wanted to honor the Chancellor, he would have killed his first officer in tribute...."

Dank rambles off into mumbling and Klingon curses....  

[KBF-Dogmatix]

Captain Hooch...


Thanks very much for the kind words and the thread in general.  Several of us, including myself, did indeed note some changes and improvements in Federation operations during AOTK and if I had anything to do with inspiring anmy of it, well, consider me flattered.  


The culture amongst the folks who fly Federation is such that it makes leading them difficult, I think.  That you guys are becoming increasingly adept at marshalling those forces with disperate opinions into even a somewhat cohesive unit is a testament to your improving skills. <S>

[RP /On]

Federation petaQ!  

It has been my supreme joy to continually defeat your forces as well as your pseudo-imperialistic machinations at every turn!  As a rank-and-file Klingon Warrior, I will continue to do so and you will be powerless to stop me!  You are not fit to be fed to my Comms officer's pet targ!  

As for being held accountable and paying for my "war crimes" against the UFP, well...I think I'd rather just go forge some more atrocit---, I mean, VICTORIES and continue to crush Federation forces wherever I find them, thank you.  You, however, are welcome to grow a pair and join a REAL Empire and learn that way of the Klingon Warrior and the way of WAR itself!  

Untill then, I look forward to working over whatever Federation garbage scow you deem fit to place under my disruptor sights!

[RP /Off]


As my KBF brother Khjimraph says, I'm not leaving the ranks of the KBF.  I will continue to work to bring victory and glory to our grand old fleet.  I have never felt more at home in a group than I do amongst "The Dead."


Again, Hooch....thanks much for your kind words.  I appreciate the sentiment!  








 

[KBF-Dogmatix]

15 wives!?  32 children!?


Gre'thor be damned!  No wonder I'm so freaking tired!    I'm going to have to do something about this...



"Where's my comms officer...!?"  <pulls hand disruptor...>



 

[SSCF Hooch]

<sends Dogmatix box of xtra small condoms with attached note>

Dear Admiral Dogmatix, please try these,it may help some "issues" with your growing family/s. Also, perhaps if the Klingon race as a whole would think less with their reproductive organs and more with their brains, they would perhaps be less warlike and have a higher standard of living. With this type of birth rate it is not hard to see why your race needs to continually expand.  Thirty two children? My that would make any one rather surley.

We of the UFP would gladly send you some of our best "planned parenthood" technicians if you so desire.

We are always ready to help a lessor race grow into it's fullness. Just ask anytime.

Yours
SSCF Hooch, a kind and gentle soul    

[KBF-Dogmatix]

Dearest Captain Hooch:


It figures that all you would have lying around your quarters is extra small-sized prophylactics, but be advised, such will be of absolutely zero utility to even the least endowed of Klingons (no comment regarding which category I'm in) as they would clearly be far too tiny and flimsy to be used in connection with the Klingon mating ritual.

However, they are accepted in the spirit in which they were sent.  Perhaps one of my youngest Warriors can borrow some playtime customs from your Earthers and fill them with water balloons (or targ urine) and bombard you as you leave your quarters for work some morning.



Sincerely:


 

[SSCF Hooch]

Quote:
It figures that all you would have lying around your quarters is extra small-sized prophylactics
 

Most Honorable Klingon Warrior,

I do belive that you have the "gift" confused. These are Feringi birth control devices. The grand Negus Kat J'inn himself sold these to me for you. He told me that he had "inside" information about you and that these would most likely be far too large for you. Sorry, J'inn's words not mine.

But this is evading the primary issue of your inability to keep your pants up. I would suggest viewing some old earth video tapes of "Dr. Phil" or "Montel". They will help you find your inner Klingon brat...errrr.... I mean, child.

I hear that Klingons find "Martha Steward" to be some interest. Calling her "Saint Martha". Personally I find her a hugh snore and boring to tears. I do hope they raise her old home and build the tribute to the UPF mall there.   It has become rather run down this past 200 hundred yesrs.

Anyway I am sending you an old DVD of the Martha Stewart trail for insider trading, I found it very intertaining.

Enjoy!

Hooch